beren_writes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beren_writes) wrote2008-04-22 03:28 pm
beren_writes) wrote2008-04-22 03:28 pm
Fic: Out With The Old, In With the New, Bill/Tom, NC17/18, Tokio Hotel RPS, 15/20
Title: Out With the Old, In With the New 15/20
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Chapter 15 Not Gently Enough
Looking at himself in the mirror, Bill decided that his makeup was as good as it was going to get and went on to his hair. He didn't really need to do anything, but he wanted to do something with his hands. Tom was playing the acoustic on the sofa across the room, Georg was standing up with his eyes closed going through what looked like air bass playing with his hands and Gustav was doing some stretches to warm up for the concert. They were just into their half hour before the performance and it was when the nerves began to set in.
Teasing out one bit of hair that wasn't exactly where he wanted it, he frowned as something caught his attention. He wasn't sure what it was, but it made him look around the room. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, so he turned back to the mirror, which was when it happened. There was a twang, a ping and then a yelp from Tom. He was out of his seat in a heartbeat. He didn't move as fast as he could, but it was a close thing and only the fact that Georg had jumped to Tom's aid stopped him.
"You're bleeding," was Georg's pronouncement and Bill wanted nothing more than to reach his twin's side; the problem was, Gustav and Georg were both in the way.
It was clear now what had happened, since one of the strings on Tom's guitar was hanging loose. Bill could see the blood from between Tom's fingers where his twin had his hand clasped to his cheek and he could smell the coppery tang.
"Let me have a look," Georg urged and Tom slowly moved his fingers away.
As a long bleeding line was revealed on Tom's cheek, Bill was vibrating in place with need to get to his twin.
"Shit," Georg said, "someone needs to get the medic; that's nasty."
"Let me through," Bill said, since Gustav was blocking his only way to Tom.
"I'll go," Gustav volunteered, which did take his friend out of Bill's way, but was definitely not what Bill wanted.
"No," he said firmly, walking to Tom's side quickly.
"Bill," Georg said, clearly sensing his anxiety, "that might need stitches; we have to get the medic."
"No," Bill reiterated and looked right into Tom's eyes.
He could tell Tom knew what he was thinking and his twin gave him a little nod.
"Bill," Gustav started to say from where his friend was halfway to the door.
"Don't," Bill said, turning and looking at his friend, letting his Strigoi nature rise to the surface.
He was wearing his lenses, so he knew not all of his eyes would have been visible, but he was sure it was enough as Gustav just froze. When he turned back Georg stepped back without having to be asked and he stepped right up to Tom. His saliva could heal the wounds of feeding, but for the right properties to be released he had to convince his body that feeding had taken place, so he let his fangs descend.
At that point he really didn't care what the others could see and what they couldn't see, he just needed to help Tom. The blood was strong in his senses now, and, without thinking about what he was doing, he climbed onto the sofa straddling Tom. Tipping Tom's head back a little, he examined the wound.
"Hold still," he said, eyes never leaving the nasty tear in Tom's cheek.
He did catch the small smile Tom gave him though.
Leaning forward, he touched his tongue to the drop of blood currently running down Tom's face and he felt his connection to Tom flare up instantly. He could feel the edge of the pain Tom was feeling and he reacted to stop it straight away; it was an automatic response. Tom's eyes fluttered closed and he gave a quiet, breathy moan that had Bill's thoughts descending in directions they shouldn't have been. It was very hard to pull himself back from what he was feeling and keep himself focused on what he was doing. If it had not been for the fact that the ugly red swathe across Tom's cheek struck him as so incredibly wrong, he was almost sure he would not have been able to keep his mind on the job.
Tasting the blood, he closed his eyes and forced his fangs to withdraw, as if he had just fed from Tom. Then he leant forward again and ran his tongue along the wound, just as he would have done over the puncture marks he usually left. Tom moaned again, trembling slightly in his grip and Bill so wanted to go further. He had so many needs that he had to push himself off of Tom and away from the sofa before he gave in to them.
His head was full of Tom and nothing but Tom and it took him long moments to gather his wits back under his own control. He was breathing hard and his eyesight was very bright as he used every ounce of will power he had to drag his senses back into line and the world into proper order.
"Holy fuck," Georg's voice gave him something to focus on and he turned back, hoping that everything wasn't about to go to shit.
Georg was staring at Tom's cheek as Tom blinked at the room in a rather dazed manner. Gustav was looking at him with an open mouth and it suddenly dawned on him that they had a concert in under half an hour and he might have just wrecked it.
"You're ... you're ..." Gustav didn't seem to be at a loss for words.
"Strigoi," Bill said, not sure what else to say. "Vampire," he added when Georg turned stunned eyes on his as well.
"Strong, sensitive to light," Gustav sounded like he couldn't believe he'd missed the obvious.
He really had no idea what to say next. He had tried to plan the whole conversation out in his head time and again, but it just hadn't come to him. It didn't look as if breaking it to his friends gently had helped much.
"Look," Tom said, shaking himself out of his daze and standing up, moving over to Bill and making him feel a tiny bit better, "when Bill was kidnapped it wasn't just some lunatic; it was a vampire who wanted him as a slave. Bill ended up like he is now because the arsehole couldn't break the bond between him and me. Bill's still Bill, just a little different, so don't freak."
Both Georg and Gustav looked hideously confused and just a little afraid. Sometimes Bill was just as he had been before the attack; he could laugh most things off, but some things hit him harder now, and the idea that he was ruining everything leapt up and tried to overwhelm him. He managed to hold it together for a few seconds, but then the shell he tried so hard to hold between the things that frightened him and the rest of the world cracked. Losing the people he cared about because of what he was now was right at the top of the list and piled on top of the stress of the concert it was too much.
"I'm sorry," he said, not sure what exactly he was apologising for and then he turned away.
His composure cracked and he crumpled, falling to his knees and covering his face with his hands as the tears came. He tried so hard to be strong, but there were just some things he couldn't deal with. They had been so careful and it hadn't made any difference.
Strong arms wrapped around him almost immediately and Tom pulled him close and he sagged against Tom's chest. Taking his hands from his face, he gripped onto Tom's t-shirt and buried his face against Tom's shoulder instead.
"Ssh," Tom spoke to him gently, rubbing his back while holding him tightly, "its okay."
"I'm sorry," he said, more and more sure that he had destroyed everything they had, "I'm sorry."
Tom's grip tightened.
"None of this is your fault," his twin told him, "none of it."
He tried to believe it, he really did, but if felt like his fault. He was the source of the problem and it didn't make any difference that he hadn't chosen this; it was still him. He knew he was messing up Tom's nice white shirt and his makeup would be going all over the place, but he couldn't stop the tears.
"I'm ruining it," he voiced his fears to the only person he knew could understand.
When another hand touched his back he almost flinched away.
"You're not ruining anything," Gustav's voice was warm, calm and absolutely resolute.
As a third hand came to rest on his back as well he couldn't help the sob that escaped him. Rationality was no longer a part of the equation and he had to let the emotion out. Tom just held him, rocking him gently and stroking his back. He was in pieces and he didn't have the will to glue himself back together.
"Georg," he heard Tom say quietly after a few minutes, "can you go and find David. Tell him Bill's had a meltdown and we're going to need a little longer to get ready. Get them to tell the crowd there's been a technical malfunction or something."
"Consider it done," Georg said and one of the warm hands on his back disappeared.
"Gustav, help me to get Bill onto the sofa, please," Tom continued speaking.
Part of Bill wanted to object, but he was still in too many pieces to really do anything, so, when Tom and Gustav urged him to move and all but lifted him up, he went. He did not want to let go of Tom; Tom was always his lifeline when things became too much, so he held on, and he ended up sitting beside his twin on the sofa, still being held close. The tears had stopped, but he felt like he could shatter again at any moment.
He hadn't lost it so badly when he had had Tom there since they'd made the decision to leap back into all that was Tokio Hotel and it frightened him a little. It was like a pit had opened and swallowed him and there hadn't been anything he could do about it. That lack of control bothered him; it bothered him a lot.
"Can I do anything?" Gustav asked as Bill started trying to calm himself down.
"Some water would be good," Tom replied and Bill heard his friend move away over to the refreshment table.
As he slowly pulled himself back together, he began to feel more than a little silly.
"Hey," Tom said when he finally pulled back a little, "how are you feeling?"
His twin presented him with an open water bottle which he took as a way of making himself let go of Tom's shirt.
"Stupid," he said, trying to convince himself that he didn't just want to collapse back into Tom's arms and take the comfort that was offered there.
His throat felt all scratchy from the crying, so he swallowed a little of the water. He almost dived back for cover when, at that moment, the door opened and Georg came back in. He automatically looked at his friend, but dropped his gaze almost instantly when he realised what he was doing.
"All done," Georg announced, clearly trying to act as if everything was normal; "David said to let him know when we're ready."
"Ugh, I must look like a panda," Bill derided himself; he didn't like how out of control he had suddenly felt.
"More of a racoon," Tom said with a smile, obviously trying to make him laugh.
He did manage a small smile in return and drank some more of the water. More than anything he felt ridiculously embarrassed now. This definitely hadn't been how he wanted to reveal his true nature. Reaching out he touched Tom's cheek, just to make sure it was perfectly healed.
"That's just incredible," Georg sounded in awe and Bill glanced over at his friend before looking down at the floor again.
"Just one of Bill's new talents," Tom said and took his hand, squeezing lightly in support.
"Can you heal any wound like that?" Bill was surprised by how curious Gustav sounded and he actually looked up properly.
He shook his head.
"Just small ones," he decided to be completely honest, "it's for healing bites. I've never used it like that before."
"It's called improvisation," Tom said, still playing at being cheerful, "y'know, like when you get the rhythm wrong and have to make it up as you go along."
Gustav gave Tom an unimpressed look for the teasing and Bill found himself smiling a bit; maybe Tom did have the right idea.
"And this is what you've been dropping all the hints about," Georg said, coming round and sitting on the other end of the sofa.
"When I told Andreas it was too much of a shock," he explained himself, "and I was trying to break it to you two more gently. I don't think it worked though."
"I think vampires might be impossible to break to anyone gently," Gustav said, clearly not afraid anymore; "I was still working my way through blood diseases on Google."
At that Bill actually found himself laughing; only Gustav would actually have been doing research. He looked over at Georg who shrugged.
"I was just waiting for you to get round to explaining," their bassist said with a small smile. "I didn't expect this though. Talk about world view altering moments."
Bill couldn't exactly disagree with that; it had certainly changed his world significantly.
"It gets easier after a little while," Tom said and he was grateful for the support. "Bill is Strigoi, which is probably a bit like what you think vampires should be and quite a lot not. It's going to take time to explain, time which I don't think we have at the moment. We have an arena full of fans out there and we need to do this concert, then we can talk about this."
Bill watched Gustav and Georg exchange looks.
"There's even more isn't there?" Gustav observed before they finally began to move.
Bill nodded.
"We'll explain later," Tom said in a calm, no nonsense tone; "but now's not the time."
Both Georg and Gustav nodded at that; they had a concert to give and none of them would let the fans down.
"I need a new t-shirt," Tom decided, looking down at the black and grey mess Bill had left on the current one.
"And I need to fix my face," Bill said, going into professional mode.
"Or you could just both go with a new style," Georg suggested and Bill decided not to bother with retribution of his own when their bassist caught Tom's soiled t-shirt with his face.
Now it was time to worry about notes and lyrics; everything else could come later.
====
Bill had thrown everything he had into the concert; sort of his way of apologising for making the whole thing late and he was totally exhausted as he came off stage. In fact he was so tired he almost walked into the door that Tom opened to take them into the dressing room. The only reason he missed it was because strong hands took hold of his shoulders and steered him round it.
"Unless you forgot to mention the power to phase through things," Georg commented with a chuckle, "I think going round would be a better idea."
"Haven't mastered that one yet," he said, doing his best to keep his eyes open.
What he had done for Tom and his breakdown had taken a lot out of him and with the concert on top, the energy seemed to be draining out of him like he was full of holes.
"You're supposed to be a vampire, not a zombie," Tom teased once they were safely in the room with the door shut.
Bill gave his brother the finger for that and did his best not to trip over things on the way to his bag. He would really have liked to curl up in a ball somewhere and fall asleep, but there was a shower with his name on it somewhere and he decided to focus on that rather than anything else.
"Bill," Gustav said as he wandered past his friend towards the door behind which there was a shower, "is your hair blonder than before we started tonight?"
That woke him up a bit and he stepped up to the nearest mirror.
"Oh shit," he said as he looked at his reflection; his hair was indeed lighter than it had been.
There were many more pale streaks in his hair than there had been before and that meant only one thing; he needed to feed, urgently.
"Calm down," Tom said, before he could work himself up, "it must have been the way you healed me. We'll just go in there and deal with it."
Bill was pretty sure that without Tom he'd be in a padded cell and his twin's words brought his racing heart under control a little.
"Need anything we can help with?" Georg offered.
Tom took Bill's hand and grinned.
"Not unless you feel like donating to the cause," Tom said and for a moment Georg looked like he had no idea what to say.
Recovering from his shock, Bill swiped at Tom's shoulder and tutted.
"Stop frightening him," he said in a vaguely annoyed tone, "there's only one person I'll feed from and you know it."
"You're no fun," Tom complained and rolled his eyes, "I could have kept him going for ages."
Georg appeared relieved and amused at the same time and Bill thanked his lucky stars that Georg had such a well developed sense of humour.
"So the hair means you're hungry?" Gustav asked; ever the seeker of knowledge.
"I don't feel hungry," Bill admitted, but Syb had warned him that odd things might occasionally happen.
"The hair means he's left it too long," Tom added for him, "well usually. We'll just be through there; don't let anyone else come in."
Bill didn't bother protesting when Tom dragged him into the shower room and shut the door. He still didn't feel hungry, but when Tom gave him a coy little smile and offered him that long, elegant neck, who was he to argue? They were both sweaty from the concert, but, as Bill brought his fangs out to play, that just increased Tom's underlying scent in his senses. Everything else flew out of his head as he zeroed in on his target and he pushed Tom up against the wall.
He was definitely awake now as all his faculties came online and he leant in to Tom. Licking a stripe up Tom's neck, he made his twin moan even before he bit and Tom's arms encircled him as he opened his mouth.
"Oh fuck," he heard Tom say as he carefully sunk his fangs into his twin's neck and he could taste the adrenaline high from the concert in Tom's blood.
Pleasure swamped him as he pressed against Tom, even more heady than usual as his twin's state of mind affected him as well. It felt so good and he flattened Tom against the wall, pushing their bodies together as much as possible, almost trying to consume his twin with every part of his being. In a corner of his mind he knew Tom was being loud, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He drank what he needed and revelled in the experience, just about dragging himself back when he had to. He really didn't want to stop and, even when he did, he wanted to be doing other things to Tom, but he pushed himself away before he could lose what control he had.
Tom caught him and pulled him close once more.
"The moment we have time alone," Tom whispered in his ear, "we're going for level two."
Bill almost gave in then and he was so hard it ached.
"If you don't let me go," he whispered back, "we'll be going for level two right here and now."
He could feel the reluctance in Tom, but his twin did let him go. There was only so long before Georg and Gustav would want to know what was going on and the wall wasn't that thick.
"You take a shower," Tom said and it clearly took a lot of effort, "I'll go and keep the guys occupied until you're done. David wants us out back as soon as possible."
Bill nodded, grabbing hold of his professional side to stop him moving back towards his twin. Their job wasn't quite finished for the night, which was thankfully enough motivation to get him moving. He was going to be buzzing for ages.
====
David was giving Bill a somewhat concerned look as they all barrelled out of the dressing room.
"Problem?" Bill asked, grinning because he felt like it.
"You seem remarkably awake given that you were asleep on your feet twenty minutes ago," David said, clearly unsure about the whole situation.
"We force fed him sugar and caffeine," Tom said, throwing his arm around Bill's neck and ruffling his hair playfully; "we have fans to dazzle."
"If you touch my hair again you'll be dazzling them with broken teeth," Bill warned with mock seriousness.
"Aw," Tom said, making doe eyes at him, "doesn't Billi like having his hair mussed."
"Aw," Bill responded, "does Tomi want a spanking."
Tom's face went all thoughtful.
"There was this one girl, I think her name was Belinda..."
Tom didn't get any further because Bill pulled his twin's cap down over his face to shut him up. By that point David didn't look worried anymore.
"Fans, outside, now," was all their manager said.
====
Even with the blood high Bill had flaked out as soon as they made it to the bus, so it wasn't until the next day that they all had a chance to talk. Bill seemed to be quite happy and bouncy, but Tom could tell there was underlying tension that his twin was trying not to show. As they all piled into the room at the end of the bus and shut out the rest of the world, he hoped that Bill would be able to relax properly once this conversation was over.
"First thing," Georg said as they all sat down, "we talked last night and we agreed this is your lives. If you don't think you can tell us, we'll wait, forever if necessary, but we have to admit we're very curious."
Bill gave their friends a smile for that, but Tom could still see the nerves underneath.
"We've been talking about it for ages," Bill replied for both of them, "and it's not fair to leave you guessing. We want to explain everything and then we'll answer any questions."
Tom was incredibly proud of Bill at that moment; it took a hell of a lot of courage for Bill to talk about any of his vampire nature.
"That sounds more than fair," Gustav said with a nod and Georg backed him up with a nod of his own.
Tom had agreed to play backup for Bill in this, so he moved closer to his twin, leant his support and waited for Bill to go on.
"Strigoi are spread throughout Europe and America in low numbers, but high enough to be considered a minority," Bill began to explain. "They ... we have our own laws, but when in contact with the human world are ruled by them as well. I'm what's called a day dweller; I'm resistant to sunlight, most Strigoi aren't. Usually the older a Strigoi gets the more sunlight they can take, younger ones can't take very much at all and some can't take any."
Moving his leg against Bill's, Tom tried to make his brother feel a little safer. The next bit was going to be incredibly difficult.
"Strigoi can form a pair-bond with a human," Bill continued after taking a deep breath; "and the bond gives the human the same immortality as the vampire. Their life-force sustains their bond-mate, not allowing age to touch them. A human in a pair-bond isn't invulnerable and won't heal like a Strigoi, but they don't age. The vampire that took me ..."
Bill had to pause, clearly distressed by the memory and Tom moved yet closer, slipping his hand under the table and taking Bill's fingers in his own.
"The vampire that took me," Bill started again, "wanted me as a trophy. The pair-bond can be used to control a human and he tried to force a bond on me. It didn't work because Tom and I have a connection and eventually the vampire gave up. He turned me and left me in the sun because he thought I'd die. He's not normal for Strigoi; he's a rogue, a criminal. I'm not saying Strigoi are like everyone else; some of them are very weird, but they're ... we're not monsters."
"Bill," Georg stopped Bill before he really got going, "we get you're still you; last night was just a shock, that's all."
Bill took a deep breath and nodded, still ill at ease, but looking a little better as far as Tom could tell.
"When I woke up in the hospital I didn't really understand what was happening," Bill went on and Tom had to sit on the desire to take over for his twin.
Bill had told him that he wanted to do this and so Tom could only abide by Bill's wishes.
"The forced bonding had messed with my head," Bill explained, voice steady, but very quiet; "the first thing that was real to me was when Tom came. It was like everything else was a dream and Tom wasn't; before he was there I kept expecting to wake up ... back there ... but when he came I knew it was real. We've always been connected, but when I saw him I automatically completed a pair-bond."
It was so obviously incredibly difficult for Bill to talk about and Tom squeezed his twin's hand to give him more support.
"So this means you're immortal too?" Gustav asked, looking at him.
Tom nodded.
"Not that I can feel the difference," Tom said, glad that he could give Bill a little break. "I have it on very good authority that I won't age anymore though. It also means that the only person Bill will feed from is me, unless there's an emergency."
"I don't need that much," Bill added in explanation. "no more than a few mouthfuls every three to four days. I think I confused my metabolism with that stunt yesterday, so it complained. If a Strigoi is starving they'll appear albino and the lighter hair is an early sign that something needs doing."
"How come your hair returns to black?" Georg asked, clearly a little confused.
Bill shrugged.
"Something to do with the mental image I have of myself, according to Syb," Bill said and Tom just nodded, since that was all he knew as well.
"So the police investigating this know about vampires?" Gustav sounded surprised.
"Syb is a vampire," Bill said with a little smile; "Markus is her bond mate. They are part of a task force that deals with vampire/human relations. She helped me sort my head out," Bill added more quietly.
"They're hunting the rogue," Tom decided he couldn't let Bill tell the next bit. "He's killing other humans as well, when Bill woke up a vampire there was another with him, but she burned in the sun. They have a lot of people looking for this monster."
That seemed to make Gustav and Georg much more comfortable and Tom knew the feeling; to realise that there were powers out there like vampires was scary, but to know they were governed by similar laws as humans made it somewhat better.
"Sven is Strigoi as well isn't he?" Gustav said and Tom wasn't overly surprised.
"He's my bodyguard, just in case," Bill replied with a nod, "until they catch the one who did this to me."
"What happens when they catch him?" Georg asked.
"Because I survived they can trace the bloodline through me," Bill said, gripping Tom's hand quite hard; "when they catch him they will try him, prove he's my sire and then they will execute him."
Georg went white and Gustav looked shocked.
"You can't imprison a vampire forever," Tom said, since it had seemed very final and quick to him as well, "and he's too dangerous to let loose. Once they are sure he is the one who kidnapped Bill they will make sure he can't hurt anyone else."
"Interactions between Strigoi are handled by Strigoi laws," Bill tried to explain, "not human ones. Locking up a vampire for fifty years is just a waste of time."
It seemed to be an uncomfortable topic for all of them.
"So," Georg said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "what was it you couldn't tell us last night?"
Tom would have smiled at the obvious change of subject if it hadn't meant quite how awkward the next part was going to be. This time Bill moved closer to him.
"This is the bit that's even more complicated," Tom had put his foot down about letting Bill explain this part by himself.
Bill had enough trouble talking about this between themselves, so Tom had made sure he would be taking the lead.
"It's about the pair-bond," he said, all his carefully prepared ideas rushing out of his head; "it's not as straightforward as we've told you so far."
Georg looked a little worried at that, but, looking into Gustav's passive face, Tom had the distinct impression that their drummer might have worked it out already.
"The pair-bond isn't just about blood," Tom said, feeling Bill tensing up beside him; if this went badly then Bill was very likely to have another breakdown. "It's everything."
The expression on Georg's face was confusion, on Gustav's it was validation.
"I don't follow," Georg admitted, looking to Gustav who refused to say anything.
"I'm not called Bill's bond mate because we';re friends," Tom decided that he couldn't say it outright; it was too intimate to just blurt out.
Georg's eyes opened in surprise and flicked between him and Bill and back again and then it was obvious that Georg didn't know what to think.
"You're ..." Georg didn't seem to know what to say.
"Lovers," Bill said quietly, finally leaning against him like Tom had known his twin wanted to do, "almost."
"What Bill means is that when he's ready we will be," he said, backing Bill up. "Its part of us now, we can't change it; we don't want to."
The news had clearly stunned Georg, it was impossible to tell what Gustav was thinking and Bill was becoming tenser by the second.
"You'll still have to pick up girls and take them to your room," Gustav said and completely took him by surprise with the bluntness, "or someone is going to notice."
Tom realised his mouth was hanging open as silence descended over the room.
"I can make them think they had the most wonderful evening of their lives without Tom ever touching them," Bill said quietly, and, looking between his twin and his friend, Tom realised that the two were on the same page. "I don't think I do jealousy very well."
"You knew," Georg said in accusing tone while staring at Gustav.
Gustav just shrugged.
"I guessed," their drummer said; "you heard them last night as well as I did."
"I thought ... I mean ..." Georg was clearly struggling.
"For the record," Tom stepped in, "that was only Bill biting me; it's just very like sex for us."
Bill was still so tense that Tom was beginning to worry. Gustav seemed to be on side, but it was difficult to tell what their drummer was thinking so he wasn't sure, and Georg was in shock; that much was obvious to Tom. The press had accused him and Bill of incest on several occasions, but it had never been true before.
"Look," he said as Georg continued to wrestle with the idea, "this is how it works now; there is nothing we can do about it. We've had a connection since the day we split into two people and now some bastard made Bill into a vampire and that connection changed. We're together, end of story."
"But it's illegal," Georg said in a quandary.
It was Gustav's turn to reach out and offer some comfort by putting a hand on Georg's arm.
"It's not as if one of us is twenty years older than the other or we plan on making babies and bringing little mutant Kaulitzes into this world," Tom pointed out, hoping that he could make Georg see that this wasn't bad before Bill lost it. "We're not hurting anyone and Bill is everything to me. I love him with every fibre of my being."
That made Georg freeze and Tom found himself being scrutinized.
"Fuck," was the explosive comment from Georg after a silence that seemed to go on forever, and their friend banged his head on the table, "fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. I cannot believe we're having this conversation," Georg said, sitting up again; "first vampires and then" he waved his arm in their general direction, "you; it's crazy."
Tom tightened his grip on Bill's hand.
"Yeah, it's crazy," he said, leaning forward and looking Georg straight in the eye, "and it was caused by someone taking my brother, abusing him and then killing him. I realised something when Bill was gone; all the talk of dying together: not so much shit, very, very true. I felt him die and I thought my life was over, I almost closed my eyes and gave up, but I got him back and it was the most amazing thing in the world. Nothing is more important to me than Bill, not this band, not our success, not even world fucking peace and that's just how it is."
He glanced at Bill and found his twin looking at his with huge, amazed eyes. It hadn't been a speech Tom was planning on; he wasn't really a baring his soul in front of his friends type of person, but he had meant every word. He wrapped an arm round Bill and pulled him close and then looked back at their two friends to see what the verdict was. To his surprise, even Gustav had changed expression; their drummer looked impressed. Georg still appeared shell shocked, but strangely, calmer.
"That's the way it is," Georg said quietly, and it wasn't a question.
"That's the way it's always been," Gustav said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "this is just half a step further."
"Are you trying to tell me it's time to get over it?" Georg asked and looked directly at Gustav.
"You already have," Gustav said and folded his arms; "your logical brain just hasn't caught up yet."
Georg gave Gustav a hard stare and Tom decided it was best to stay out of it.
"How the hell are you so calm?" Georg finally asked.
"I only slept about an hour last night," Gustav said, which surprised Tom, because his friend appeared as awake as the rest of them; "I've had more thinking time."
Pursing his lips, Georg looked back over the table and Tom stared his friend in the eye. By now Bill was trembling slightly and Tom knew that this needed to be over soon. It was unsettling when Georg sighed and looked out the window and Tom held his breath until Georg finally turned back.
"This is weird," Georg said, eyes flicking between him and Bill, "it going to take me a while to get used to it."
"It's taking us a while to get used to it," Bill said in little more than a whisper.
That actually made Georg smile a little and Tom began to hope. For long moments Georg looked at Bill and Bill looked back and Tom sat as still as possible. Bill's kidnapping had been the worst thing that had ever happened to all of them and getting him back had been tantamount to a miracle; if there was anything that could pull them through it was that.
"Okay," Georg said eventually, "I get it. Just, could we talk about something else until I've got my head round it?"
"We could go on to questions," Tom suggested as he felt Bill sagging against him.
The relief coming from Bill was palpable.
"I think taking a break might be a better idea," Gustav said, re-entering the conversation, "Bill looks like he's about to pass out."
"I'm fine," Bill protested, but not with much conviction.
"You're a wreck," Gustav said bluntly; "who wants coffee? Georg, find us a film."
When Gustav had that look in his eyes there was no arguing with it and Tom just gave in.
"Coffee sounds good," he said and Bill squeaked with indignation beside him. "Just accept it," he told his twin, giving Bill a fond smile; "when Gustav decides to mother hen us all, there is no fighting."
If there was one thing that Bill hated it was being told what to do, but eventually Bill huffed in defeat.
"I'll have one," Bill said and actually appeared to be relaxing properly.
Tom decided that perhaps Gustav really did have the right idea.
End of Part 15
On to Next Part
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Chapter 15 Not Gently Enough
Looking at himself in the mirror, Bill decided that his makeup was as good as it was going to get and went on to his hair. He didn't really need to do anything, but he wanted to do something with his hands. Tom was playing the acoustic on the sofa across the room, Georg was standing up with his eyes closed going through what looked like air bass playing with his hands and Gustav was doing some stretches to warm up for the concert. They were just into their half hour before the performance and it was when the nerves began to set in.
Teasing out one bit of hair that wasn't exactly where he wanted it, he frowned as something caught his attention. He wasn't sure what it was, but it made him look around the room. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, so he turned back to the mirror, which was when it happened. There was a twang, a ping and then a yelp from Tom. He was out of his seat in a heartbeat. He didn't move as fast as he could, but it was a close thing and only the fact that Georg had jumped to Tom's aid stopped him.
"You're bleeding," was Georg's pronouncement and Bill wanted nothing more than to reach his twin's side; the problem was, Gustav and Georg were both in the way.
It was clear now what had happened, since one of the strings on Tom's guitar was hanging loose. Bill could see the blood from between Tom's fingers where his twin had his hand clasped to his cheek and he could smell the coppery tang.
"Let me have a look," Georg urged and Tom slowly moved his fingers away.
As a long bleeding line was revealed on Tom's cheek, Bill was vibrating in place with need to get to his twin.
"Shit," Georg said, "someone needs to get the medic; that's nasty."
"Let me through," Bill said, since Gustav was blocking his only way to Tom.
"I'll go," Gustav volunteered, which did take his friend out of Bill's way, but was definitely not what Bill wanted.
"No," he said firmly, walking to Tom's side quickly.
"Bill," Georg said, clearly sensing his anxiety, "that might need stitches; we have to get the medic."
"No," Bill reiterated and looked right into Tom's eyes.
He could tell Tom knew what he was thinking and his twin gave him a little nod.
"Bill," Gustav started to say from where his friend was halfway to the door.
"Don't," Bill said, turning and looking at his friend, letting his Strigoi nature rise to the surface.
He was wearing his lenses, so he knew not all of his eyes would have been visible, but he was sure it was enough as Gustav just froze. When he turned back Georg stepped back without having to be asked and he stepped right up to Tom. His saliva could heal the wounds of feeding, but for the right properties to be released he had to convince his body that feeding had taken place, so he let his fangs descend.
At that point he really didn't care what the others could see and what they couldn't see, he just needed to help Tom. The blood was strong in his senses now, and, without thinking about what he was doing, he climbed onto the sofa straddling Tom. Tipping Tom's head back a little, he examined the wound.
"Hold still," he said, eyes never leaving the nasty tear in Tom's cheek.
He did catch the small smile Tom gave him though.
Leaning forward, he touched his tongue to the drop of blood currently running down Tom's face and he felt his connection to Tom flare up instantly. He could feel the edge of the pain Tom was feeling and he reacted to stop it straight away; it was an automatic response. Tom's eyes fluttered closed and he gave a quiet, breathy moan that had Bill's thoughts descending in directions they shouldn't have been. It was very hard to pull himself back from what he was feeling and keep himself focused on what he was doing. If it had not been for the fact that the ugly red swathe across Tom's cheek struck him as so incredibly wrong, he was almost sure he would not have been able to keep his mind on the job.
Tasting the blood, he closed his eyes and forced his fangs to withdraw, as if he had just fed from Tom. Then he leant forward again and ran his tongue along the wound, just as he would have done over the puncture marks he usually left. Tom moaned again, trembling slightly in his grip and Bill so wanted to go further. He had so many needs that he had to push himself off of Tom and away from the sofa before he gave in to them.
His head was full of Tom and nothing but Tom and it took him long moments to gather his wits back under his own control. He was breathing hard and his eyesight was very bright as he used every ounce of will power he had to drag his senses back into line and the world into proper order.
"Holy fuck," Georg's voice gave him something to focus on and he turned back, hoping that everything wasn't about to go to shit.
Georg was staring at Tom's cheek as Tom blinked at the room in a rather dazed manner. Gustav was looking at him with an open mouth and it suddenly dawned on him that they had a concert in under half an hour and he might have just wrecked it.
"You're ... you're ..." Gustav didn't seem to be at a loss for words.
"Strigoi," Bill said, not sure what else to say. "Vampire," he added when Georg turned stunned eyes on his as well.
"Strong, sensitive to light," Gustav sounded like he couldn't believe he'd missed the obvious.
He really had no idea what to say next. He had tried to plan the whole conversation out in his head time and again, but it just hadn't come to him. It didn't look as if breaking it to his friends gently had helped much.
"Look," Tom said, shaking himself out of his daze and standing up, moving over to Bill and making him feel a tiny bit better, "when Bill was kidnapped it wasn't just some lunatic; it was a vampire who wanted him as a slave. Bill ended up like he is now because the arsehole couldn't break the bond between him and me. Bill's still Bill, just a little different, so don't freak."
Both Georg and Gustav looked hideously confused and just a little afraid. Sometimes Bill was just as he had been before the attack; he could laugh most things off, but some things hit him harder now, and the idea that he was ruining everything leapt up and tried to overwhelm him. He managed to hold it together for a few seconds, but then the shell he tried so hard to hold between the things that frightened him and the rest of the world cracked. Losing the people he cared about because of what he was now was right at the top of the list and piled on top of the stress of the concert it was too much.
"I'm sorry," he said, not sure what exactly he was apologising for and then he turned away.
His composure cracked and he crumpled, falling to his knees and covering his face with his hands as the tears came. He tried so hard to be strong, but there were just some things he couldn't deal with. They had been so careful and it hadn't made any difference.
Strong arms wrapped around him almost immediately and Tom pulled him close and he sagged against Tom's chest. Taking his hands from his face, he gripped onto Tom's t-shirt and buried his face against Tom's shoulder instead.
"Ssh," Tom spoke to him gently, rubbing his back while holding him tightly, "its okay."
"I'm sorry," he said, more and more sure that he had destroyed everything they had, "I'm sorry."
Tom's grip tightened.
"None of this is your fault," his twin told him, "none of it."
He tried to believe it, he really did, but if felt like his fault. He was the source of the problem and it didn't make any difference that he hadn't chosen this; it was still him. He knew he was messing up Tom's nice white shirt and his makeup would be going all over the place, but he couldn't stop the tears.
"I'm ruining it," he voiced his fears to the only person he knew could understand.
When another hand touched his back he almost flinched away.
"You're not ruining anything," Gustav's voice was warm, calm and absolutely resolute.
As a third hand came to rest on his back as well he couldn't help the sob that escaped him. Rationality was no longer a part of the equation and he had to let the emotion out. Tom just held him, rocking him gently and stroking his back. He was in pieces and he didn't have the will to glue himself back together.
"Georg," he heard Tom say quietly after a few minutes, "can you go and find David. Tell him Bill's had a meltdown and we're going to need a little longer to get ready. Get them to tell the crowd there's been a technical malfunction or something."
"Consider it done," Georg said and one of the warm hands on his back disappeared.
"Gustav, help me to get Bill onto the sofa, please," Tom continued speaking.
Part of Bill wanted to object, but he was still in too many pieces to really do anything, so, when Tom and Gustav urged him to move and all but lifted him up, he went. He did not want to let go of Tom; Tom was always his lifeline when things became too much, so he held on, and he ended up sitting beside his twin on the sofa, still being held close. The tears had stopped, but he felt like he could shatter again at any moment.
He hadn't lost it so badly when he had had Tom there since they'd made the decision to leap back into all that was Tokio Hotel and it frightened him a little. It was like a pit had opened and swallowed him and there hadn't been anything he could do about it. That lack of control bothered him; it bothered him a lot.
"Can I do anything?" Gustav asked as Bill started trying to calm himself down.
"Some water would be good," Tom replied and Bill heard his friend move away over to the refreshment table.
As he slowly pulled himself back together, he began to feel more than a little silly.
"Hey," Tom said when he finally pulled back a little, "how are you feeling?"
His twin presented him with an open water bottle which he took as a way of making himself let go of Tom's shirt.
"Stupid," he said, trying to convince himself that he didn't just want to collapse back into Tom's arms and take the comfort that was offered there.
His throat felt all scratchy from the crying, so he swallowed a little of the water. He almost dived back for cover when, at that moment, the door opened and Georg came back in. He automatically looked at his friend, but dropped his gaze almost instantly when he realised what he was doing.
"All done," Georg announced, clearly trying to act as if everything was normal; "David said to let him know when we're ready."
"Ugh, I must look like a panda," Bill derided himself; he didn't like how out of control he had suddenly felt.
"More of a racoon," Tom said with a smile, obviously trying to make him laugh.
He did manage a small smile in return and drank some more of the water. More than anything he felt ridiculously embarrassed now. This definitely hadn't been how he wanted to reveal his true nature. Reaching out he touched Tom's cheek, just to make sure it was perfectly healed.
"That's just incredible," Georg sounded in awe and Bill glanced over at his friend before looking down at the floor again.
"Just one of Bill's new talents," Tom said and took his hand, squeezing lightly in support.
"Can you heal any wound like that?" Bill was surprised by how curious Gustav sounded and he actually looked up properly.
He shook his head.
"Just small ones," he decided to be completely honest, "it's for healing bites. I've never used it like that before."
"It's called improvisation," Tom said, still playing at being cheerful, "y'know, like when you get the rhythm wrong and have to make it up as you go along."
Gustav gave Tom an unimpressed look for the teasing and Bill found himself smiling a bit; maybe Tom did have the right idea.
"And this is what you've been dropping all the hints about," Georg said, coming round and sitting on the other end of the sofa.
"When I told Andreas it was too much of a shock," he explained himself, "and I was trying to break it to you two more gently. I don't think it worked though."
"I think vampires might be impossible to break to anyone gently," Gustav said, clearly not afraid anymore; "I was still working my way through blood diseases on Google."
At that Bill actually found himself laughing; only Gustav would actually have been doing research. He looked over at Georg who shrugged.
"I was just waiting for you to get round to explaining," their bassist said with a small smile. "I didn't expect this though. Talk about world view altering moments."
Bill couldn't exactly disagree with that; it had certainly changed his world significantly.
"It gets easier after a little while," Tom said and he was grateful for the support. "Bill is Strigoi, which is probably a bit like what you think vampires should be and quite a lot not. It's going to take time to explain, time which I don't think we have at the moment. We have an arena full of fans out there and we need to do this concert, then we can talk about this."
Bill watched Gustav and Georg exchange looks.
"There's even more isn't there?" Gustav observed before they finally began to move.
Bill nodded.
"We'll explain later," Tom said in a calm, no nonsense tone; "but now's not the time."
Both Georg and Gustav nodded at that; they had a concert to give and none of them would let the fans down.
"I need a new t-shirt," Tom decided, looking down at the black and grey mess Bill had left on the current one.
"And I need to fix my face," Bill said, going into professional mode.
"Or you could just both go with a new style," Georg suggested and Bill decided not to bother with retribution of his own when their bassist caught Tom's soiled t-shirt with his face.
Now it was time to worry about notes and lyrics; everything else could come later.
====
Bill had thrown everything he had into the concert; sort of his way of apologising for making the whole thing late and he was totally exhausted as he came off stage. In fact he was so tired he almost walked into the door that Tom opened to take them into the dressing room. The only reason he missed it was because strong hands took hold of his shoulders and steered him round it.
"Unless you forgot to mention the power to phase through things," Georg commented with a chuckle, "I think going round would be a better idea."
"Haven't mastered that one yet," he said, doing his best to keep his eyes open.
What he had done for Tom and his breakdown had taken a lot out of him and with the concert on top, the energy seemed to be draining out of him like he was full of holes.
"You're supposed to be a vampire, not a zombie," Tom teased once they were safely in the room with the door shut.
Bill gave his brother the finger for that and did his best not to trip over things on the way to his bag. He would really have liked to curl up in a ball somewhere and fall asleep, but there was a shower with his name on it somewhere and he decided to focus on that rather than anything else.
"Bill," Gustav said as he wandered past his friend towards the door behind which there was a shower, "is your hair blonder than before we started tonight?"
That woke him up a bit and he stepped up to the nearest mirror.
"Oh shit," he said as he looked at his reflection; his hair was indeed lighter than it had been.
There were many more pale streaks in his hair than there had been before and that meant only one thing; he needed to feed, urgently.
"Calm down," Tom said, before he could work himself up, "it must have been the way you healed me. We'll just go in there and deal with it."
Bill was pretty sure that without Tom he'd be in a padded cell and his twin's words brought his racing heart under control a little.
"Need anything we can help with?" Georg offered.
Tom took Bill's hand and grinned.
"Not unless you feel like donating to the cause," Tom said and for a moment Georg looked like he had no idea what to say.
Recovering from his shock, Bill swiped at Tom's shoulder and tutted.
"Stop frightening him," he said in a vaguely annoyed tone, "there's only one person I'll feed from and you know it."
"You're no fun," Tom complained and rolled his eyes, "I could have kept him going for ages."
Georg appeared relieved and amused at the same time and Bill thanked his lucky stars that Georg had such a well developed sense of humour.
"So the hair means you're hungry?" Gustav asked; ever the seeker of knowledge.
"I don't feel hungry," Bill admitted, but Syb had warned him that odd things might occasionally happen.
"The hair means he's left it too long," Tom added for him, "well usually. We'll just be through there; don't let anyone else come in."
Bill didn't bother protesting when Tom dragged him into the shower room and shut the door. He still didn't feel hungry, but when Tom gave him a coy little smile and offered him that long, elegant neck, who was he to argue? They were both sweaty from the concert, but, as Bill brought his fangs out to play, that just increased Tom's underlying scent in his senses. Everything else flew out of his head as he zeroed in on his target and he pushed Tom up against the wall.
He was definitely awake now as all his faculties came online and he leant in to Tom. Licking a stripe up Tom's neck, he made his twin moan even before he bit and Tom's arms encircled him as he opened his mouth.
"Oh fuck," he heard Tom say as he carefully sunk his fangs into his twin's neck and he could taste the adrenaline high from the concert in Tom's blood.
Pleasure swamped him as he pressed against Tom, even more heady than usual as his twin's state of mind affected him as well. It felt so good and he flattened Tom against the wall, pushing their bodies together as much as possible, almost trying to consume his twin with every part of his being. In a corner of his mind he knew Tom was being loud, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He drank what he needed and revelled in the experience, just about dragging himself back when he had to. He really didn't want to stop and, even when he did, he wanted to be doing other things to Tom, but he pushed himself away before he could lose what control he had.
Tom caught him and pulled him close once more.
"The moment we have time alone," Tom whispered in his ear, "we're going for level two."
Bill almost gave in then and he was so hard it ached.
"If you don't let me go," he whispered back, "we'll be going for level two right here and now."
He could feel the reluctance in Tom, but his twin did let him go. There was only so long before Georg and Gustav would want to know what was going on and the wall wasn't that thick.
"You take a shower," Tom said and it clearly took a lot of effort, "I'll go and keep the guys occupied until you're done. David wants us out back as soon as possible."
Bill nodded, grabbing hold of his professional side to stop him moving back towards his twin. Their job wasn't quite finished for the night, which was thankfully enough motivation to get him moving. He was going to be buzzing for ages.
====
David was giving Bill a somewhat concerned look as they all barrelled out of the dressing room.
"Problem?" Bill asked, grinning because he felt like it.
"You seem remarkably awake given that you were asleep on your feet twenty minutes ago," David said, clearly unsure about the whole situation.
"We force fed him sugar and caffeine," Tom said, throwing his arm around Bill's neck and ruffling his hair playfully; "we have fans to dazzle."
"If you touch my hair again you'll be dazzling them with broken teeth," Bill warned with mock seriousness.
"Aw," Tom said, making doe eyes at him, "doesn't Billi like having his hair mussed."
"Aw," Bill responded, "does Tomi want a spanking."
Tom's face went all thoughtful.
"There was this one girl, I think her name was Belinda..."
Tom didn't get any further because Bill pulled his twin's cap down over his face to shut him up. By that point David didn't look worried anymore.
"Fans, outside, now," was all their manager said.
====
Even with the blood high Bill had flaked out as soon as they made it to the bus, so it wasn't until the next day that they all had a chance to talk. Bill seemed to be quite happy and bouncy, but Tom could tell there was underlying tension that his twin was trying not to show. As they all piled into the room at the end of the bus and shut out the rest of the world, he hoped that Bill would be able to relax properly once this conversation was over.
"First thing," Georg said as they all sat down, "we talked last night and we agreed this is your lives. If you don't think you can tell us, we'll wait, forever if necessary, but we have to admit we're very curious."
Bill gave their friends a smile for that, but Tom could still see the nerves underneath.
"We've been talking about it for ages," Bill replied for both of them, "and it's not fair to leave you guessing. We want to explain everything and then we'll answer any questions."
Tom was incredibly proud of Bill at that moment; it took a hell of a lot of courage for Bill to talk about any of his vampire nature.
"That sounds more than fair," Gustav said with a nod and Georg backed him up with a nod of his own.
Tom had agreed to play backup for Bill in this, so he moved closer to his twin, leant his support and waited for Bill to go on.
"Strigoi are spread throughout Europe and America in low numbers, but high enough to be considered a minority," Bill began to explain. "They ... we have our own laws, but when in contact with the human world are ruled by them as well. I'm what's called a day dweller; I'm resistant to sunlight, most Strigoi aren't. Usually the older a Strigoi gets the more sunlight they can take, younger ones can't take very much at all and some can't take any."
Moving his leg against Bill's, Tom tried to make his brother feel a little safer. The next bit was going to be incredibly difficult.
"Strigoi can form a pair-bond with a human," Bill continued after taking a deep breath; "and the bond gives the human the same immortality as the vampire. Their life-force sustains their bond-mate, not allowing age to touch them. A human in a pair-bond isn't invulnerable and won't heal like a Strigoi, but they don't age. The vampire that took me ..."
Bill had to pause, clearly distressed by the memory and Tom moved yet closer, slipping his hand under the table and taking Bill's fingers in his own.
"The vampire that took me," Bill started again, "wanted me as a trophy. The pair-bond can be used to control a human and he tried to force a bond on me. It didn't work because Tom and I have a connection and eventually the vampire gave up. He turned me and left me in the sun because he thought I'd die. He's not normal for Strigoi; he's a rogue, a criminal. I'm not saying Strigoi are like everyone else; some of them are very weird, but they're ... we're not monsters."
"Bill," Georg stopped Bill before he really got going, "we get you're still you; last night was just a shock, that's all."
Bill took a deep breath and nodded, still ill at ease, but looking a little better as far as Tom could tell.
"When I woke up in the hospital I didn't really understand what was happening," Bill went on and Tom had to sit on the desire to take over for his twin.
Bill had told him that he wanted to do this and so Tom could only abide by Bill's wishes.
"The forced bonding had messed with my head," Bill explained, voice steady, but very quiet; "the first thing that was real to me was when Tom came. It was like everything else was a dream and Tom wasn't; before he was there I kept expecting to wake up ... back there ... but when he came I knew it was real. We've always been connected, but when I saw him I automatically completed a pair-bond."
It was so obviously incredibly difficult for Bill to talk about and Tom squeezed his twin's hand to give him more support.
"So this means you're immortal too?" Gustav asked, looking at him.
Tom nodded.
"Not that I can feel the difference," Tom said, glad that he could give Bill a little break. "I have it on very good authority that I won't age anymore though. It also means that the only person Bill will feed from is me, unless there's an emergency."
"I don't need that much," Bill added in explanation. "no more than a few mouthfuls every three to four days. I think I confused my metabolism with that stunt yesterday, so it complained. If a Strigoi is starving they'll appear albino and the lighter hair is an early sign that something needs doing."
"How come your hair returns to black?" Georg asked, clearly a little confused.
Bill shrugged.
"Something to do with the mental image I have of myself, according to Syb," Bill said and Tom just nodded, since that was all he knew as well.
"So the police investigating this know about vampires?" Gustav sounded surprised.
"Syb is a vampire," Bill said with a little smile; "Markus is her bond mate. They are part of a task force that deals with vampire/human relations. She helped me sort my head out," Bill added more quietly.
"They're hunting the rogue," Tom decided he couldn't let Bill tell the next bit. "He's killing other humans as well, when Bill woke up a vampire there was another with him, but she burned in the sun. They have a lot of people looking for this monster."
That seemed to make Gustav and Georg much more comfortable and Tom knew the feeling; to realise that there were powers out there like vampires was scary, but to know they were governed by similar laws as humans made it somewhat better.
"Sven is Strigoi as well isn't he?" Gustav said and Tom wasn't overly surprised.
"He's my bodyguard, just in case," Bill replied with a nod, "until they catch the one who did this to me."
"What happens when they catch him?" Georg asked.
"Because I survived they can trace the bloodline through me," Bill said, gripping Tom's hand quite hard; "when they catch him they will try him, prove he's my sire and then they will execute him."
Georg went white and Gustav looked shocked.
"You can't imprison a vampire forever," Tom said, since it had seemed very final and quick to him as well, "and he's too dangerous to let loose. Once they are sure he is the one who kidnapped Bill they will make sure he can't hurt anyone else."
"Interactions between Strigoi are handled by Strigoi laws," Bill tried to explain, "not human ones. Locking up a vampire for fifty years is just a waste of time."
It seemed to be an uncomfortable topic for all of them.
"So," Georg said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "what was it you couldn't tell us last night?"
Tom would have smiled at the obvious change of subject if it hadn't meant quite how awkward the next part was going to be. This time Bill moved closer to him.
"This is the bit that's even more complicated," Tom had put his foot down about letting Bill explain this part by himself.
Bill had enough trouble talking about this between themselves, so Tom had made sure he would be taking the lead.
"It's about the pair-bond," he said, all his carefully prepared ideas rushing out of his head; "it's not as straightforward as we've told you so far."
Georg looked a little worried at that, but, looking into Gustav's passive face, Tom had the distinct impression that their drummer might have worked it out already.
"The pair-bond isn't just about blood," Tom said, feeling Bill tensing up beside him; if this went badly then Bill was very likely to have another breakdown. "It's everything."
The expression on Georg's face was confusion, on Gustav's it was validation.
"I don't follow," Georg admitted, looking to Gustav who refused to say anything.
"I'm not called Bill's bond mate because we';re friends," Tom decided that he couldn't say it outright; it was too intimate to just blurt out.
Georg's eyes opened in surprise and flicked between him and Bill and back again and then it was obvious that Georg didn't know what to think.
"You're ..." Georg didn't seem to know what to say.
"Lovers," Bill said quietly, finally leaning against him like Tom had known his twin wanted to do, "almost."
"What Bill means is that when he's ready we will be," he said, backing Bill up. "Its part of us now, we can't change it; we don't want to."
The news had clearly stunned Georg, it was impossible to tell what Gustav was thinking and Bill was becoming tenser by the second.
"You'll still have to pick up girls and take them to your room," Gustav said and completely took him by surprise with the bluntness, "or someone is going to notice."
Tom realised his mouth was hanging open as silence descended over the room.
"I can make them think they had the most wonderful evening of their lives without Tom ever touching them," Bill said quietly, and, looking between his twin and his friend, Tom realised that the two were on the same page. "I don't think I do jealousy very well."
"You knew," Georg said in accusing tone while staring at Gustav.
Gustav just shrugged.
"I guessed," their drummer said; "you heard them last night as well as I did."
"I thought ... I mean ..." Georg was clearly struggling.
"For the record," Tom stepped in, "that was only Bill biting me; it's just very like sex for us."
Bill was still so tense that Tom was beginning to worry. Gustav seemed to be on side, but it was difficult to tell what their drummer was thinking so he wasn't sure, and Georg was in shock; that much was obvious to Tom. The press had accused him and Bill of incest on several occasions, but it had never been true before.
"Look," he said as Georg continued to wrestle with the idea, "this is how it works now; there is nothing we can do about it. We've had a connection since the day we split into two people and now some bastard made Bill into a vampire and that connection changed. We're together, end of story."
"But it's illegal," Georg said in a quandary.
It was Gustav's turn to reach out and offer some comfort by putting a hand on Georg's arm.
"It's not as if one of us is twenty years older than the other or we plan on making babies and bringing little mutant Kaulitzes into this world," Tom pointed out, hoping that he could make Georg see that this wasn't bad before Bill lost it. "We're not hurting anyone and Bill is everything to me. I love him with every fibre of my being."
That made Georg freeze and Tom found himself being scrutinized.
"Fuck," was the explosive comment from Georg after a silence that seemed to go on forever, and their friend banged his head on the table, "fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. I cannot believe we're having this conversation," Georg said, sitting up again; "first vampires and then" he waved his arm in their general direction, "you; it's crazy."
Tom tightened his grip on Bill's hand.
"Yeah, it's crazy," he said, leaning forward and looking Georg straight in the eye, "and it was caused by someone taking my brother, abusing him and then killing him. I realised something when Bill was gone; all the talk of dying together: not so much shit, very, very true. I felt him die and I thought my life was over, I almost closed my eyes and gave up, but I got him back and it was the most amazing thing in the world. Nothing is more important to me than Bill, not this band, not our success, not even world fucking peace and that's just how it is."
He glanced at Bill and found his twin looking at his with huge, amazed eyes. It hadn't been a speech Tom was planning on; he wasn't really a baring his soul in front of his friends type of person, but he had meant every word. He wrapped an arm round Bill and pulled him close and then looked back at their two friends to see what the verdict was. To his surprise, even Gustav had changed expression; their drummer looked impressed. Georg still appeared shell shocked, but strangely, calmer.
"That's the way it is," Georg said quietly, and it wasn't a question.
"That's the way it's always been," Gustav said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "this is just half a step further."
"Are you trying to tell me it's time to get over it?" Georg asked and looked directly at Gustav.
"You already have," Gustav said and folded his arms; "your logical brain just hasn't caught up yet."
Georg gave Gustav a hard stare and Tom decided it was best to stay out of it.
"How the hell are you so calm?" Georg finally asked.
"I only slept about an hour last night," Gustav said, which surprised Tom, because his friend appeared as awake as the rest of them; "I've had more thinking time."
Pursing his lips, Georg looked back over the table and Tom stared his friend in the eye. By now Bill was trembling slightly and Tom knew that this needed to be over soon. It was unsettling when Georg sighed and looked out the window and Tom held his breath until Georg finally turned back.
"This is weird," Georg said, eyes flicking between him and Bill, "it going to take me a while to get used to it."
"It's taking us a while to get used to it," Bill said in little more than a whisper.
That actually made Georg smile a little and Tom began to hope. For long moments Georg looked at Bill and Bill looked back and Tom sat as still as possible. Bill's kidnapping had been the worst thing that had ever happened to all of them and getting him back had been tantamount to a miracle; if there was anything that could pull them through it was that.
"Okay," Georg said eventually, "I get it. Just, could we talk about something else until I've got my head round it?"
"We could go on to questions," Tom suggested as he felt Bill sagging against him.
The relief coming from Bill was palpable.
"I think taking a break might be a better idea," Gustav said, re-entering the conversation, "Bill looks like he's about to pass out."
"I'm fine," Bill protested, but not with much conviction.
"You're a wreck," Gustav said bluntly; "who wants coffee? Georg, find us a film."
When Gustav had that look in his eyes there was no arguing with it and Tom just gave in.
"Coffee sounds good," he said and Bill squeaked with indignation beside him. "Just accept it," he told his twin, giving Bill a fond smile; "when Gustav decides to mother hen us all, there is no fighting."
If there was one thing that Bill hated it was being told what to do, but eventually Bill huffed in defeat.
"I'll have one," Bill said and actually appeared to be relaxing properly.
Tom decided that perhaps Gustav really did have the right idea.
End of Part 15
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