Fic: A Little Problem of Virginity - Harry/(Fred and George) NC-17 Humour

[beren_writes]

WARNING

This fic contains adult content of an explicit nature. Rated NC17/18

WARNING

Written for the Virgin Challenge by scribbulus_ink

Title: A Little Problem of Virginity 1/1
Author: Beren (aka Didi)
Email: beren@dtwins.co.uk
Pairing: Harry/(Fred and George)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: Twincest. Threesome. This story is set post OOTP and therefore has SPOLIERS. If you don't want to know anything that went on in book five do not read this story.
Genre: Slash, Humour
Summary: Harry wakes up on his sixteenth birthday and decides that he does not want to die a virgin.
Author's Notes: I seem to be rather addicted to challenges at the moment :). Thanks go to Soph for giving this the once over as usual. Bang goes another squick - twincest ahoy! My first real PWP ... I'm so proud ::g::.
[Edit - now has a sequel here: A Little Problem of Someone Else's Virginity]
Other Fic listed here: Long Fics | HP Short fics | All Other Short Fics | Series Fics


A Little Problem of Virginity

Even Harry had to admit that over the Summer he must have been hell to live with. To say he had been a little depressed was like saying the Titanic sank because someone threw a snowball at it; possibly with a stone inside, but that might have been pushing it. He had discovered he could kill an atmosphere in a room and drive all its occupants to near suicide just by walking into it; a talent he had actually found some pleasure in before the Dursleys had begged Dumbledore to remove him from the household. Once he had taken up residence in number 12 Grimauld Place, however, he took to spending his time alone.

It was as his sixteenth birthday dawned that he had a revelation. To some it might have seemed like a strange and somewhat irrelevant revelation given his state of mind, but it was all Harry had, and finding a purpose seemed to help lift his spirits. He realised that he was a virgin, not that that was much of a shock, but he also realised he was now a virgin who could legally change that status.

Soon after this piece of information made itself known another pointed itself out as well, and perversely cheered him up. Undoubtedly he would be dead before he hit eighteen; at the rate he was going before he even hit seventeen. Now to most this would not be a cheery thought, but weighing it against the fact that Harry had been dwelling on watching his friends die, this new idea was a good thing and it also gave him a valid explanation for what he intended to do.

Climbing out of bed in his own room (Ron had moved out after Harry's nightmares woke him for three nights in a row), he stretched, and for the first time in a very long while he smiled. Admittedly he had no idea of a plan, but that had never stopped him before, and picking up his things he headed for the bathroom with operation "I don't want to die a virgin" firmly in mind.

By lunch time he was beginning to think that the universe hated him and was conspiring against him. How could it be so hard to find someone to have sex with?

He had approached his first potential match once breakfast was finished and after he had opened all the presents people had seen fit to give him. There had been several remarks about how much better he was looking, which he had no doubt was true after the way everyone had braced themselves when he entered the kitchen and then relaxed and actually looked relieved. He had even found himself enjoying the whole experience. Since he was eleven years old there had been one reaction trained into him, and it was no different in this case: if in doubt ask Hermione; so he had.

She had been terribly nice about the whole thing, and given him a sweet little kiss on the cheek before explaining that she too had been doing some thinking, and while she loved him like a brother she had to admit that she did not swing that way. When she had started telling him about how she had this continuing fantasy about Madame Hooch and broomsticks he had listened attentively, given her his complete support, and sat back to think through his own approach.

His limited experience with relationships had lead him to the conclusion that he had to find a girl to help him with the small problem of his virginity, but with Hermione's confession he realised that there was a whole other playing field out there as well. Since the only other girl he could think of within his proximity was Ginny, and although he was sure he was going to die, he would rather it not be at the hands of his best friend for deflowering his underage sister; Harry found himself widening his scope.

The next person on his 'Who to turn to' list was of course Ron; which in hindsight had been a very bad idea. Harry had only managed two sentences of his explanation before his best friend began to look rather scared and in the interests of local harmony and universal equilibrium he had decided to abandon the whole thing. Placating Ron and convincing him that he was not contemplating suicide took over an hour and by the time he'd finished Harry was seriously considering giving the whole operation up as a bad lot. That was when he had seen Remus walking down one of the corridors.

At first Remus had been shocked and Harry had found himself blathering on trying to explain; a state with which he had become all too familiar in what he lovingly referred to as the Cho debacle. Remus had stopped him halfway through a grand speech something to do with mentors and other things equally as asinine and told him that he was honoured to be asked, but he couldn't just at the moment. The full moon was coming up and he didn't trust himself, especially not with for what would be Harry's first time. Waiting was an option, but by then Harry had been becoming somewhat frustrated by his failures and had politely declined; hence his current state of despondency as he stared at the lunch table. The way two people had entered the room, muttered strangled hellos and fled gave him the distinct impression that he was back to his original form.

The only other people in the house were Molly, who was just so far out of the realm of anything approaching possible it made him shudder; and Snape, the idea of having sex with whom was right up there with kissing Voldemort's arse, as far as Harry was concerned. He was toying with the corner of one of the cards he had received that morning when the idea hit him. The solution was obvious; he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it earlier: Fred and George.

They were his friends, they were always up for a bit of mischief and he had no doubt they had experience. Without waiting to think through his plan just like the true Gryffindor he was, Harry walked into the drawing room, grabbed a handful of floo powder from the pot on the mantle and stepped into the fire, saying Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.

"Harry," one of the twins greeted cheerfully as he actually managed to step out of the grate at the other end rather than sliding on his behind as he seemed to usually end up doing, "what brings you here?"

Harry had no idea if the twin in the workshop was Fred or George, but by now he really didn't care and he just went with his instincts.

"I don't want to die a virgin," he said bluntly as he dusted himself off.

His companion put down whatever he was doing and pushed the goggles he was wearing up on to the top of his head.

"I think this calls for careful consideration," the twin said calmly and walked to the door. "Fred," he called as he opened it, answering at least one question, "we have a visitor with a problem; shut the shop up for a bit and come back here."

When Fred arrived he grinned at Harry who refused to acknowledge the growing nervousness in the pit of his stomach.

"Hiya, Harry," the second twin greeted brightly; "happy birthday and all that. What seems to be the trouble?"

"Seems our Harry wishes to be relieved of the small problem of his virginity," George told his brother with a smile that Harry found slightly unsettling.

"And he's come to us, why?" Fred asked with a smile that matched his brother's.

"Hermione, Ron and Remus, all said no, or got the wrong idea," Harry replied with brutal honestly, but did not seem to phase the twins in the slightest.

"Just so we're..."

"...clear. You are asking..."

"...us to assist you personally ..."

"...with this problem?"

When the twins began finishing each other's sentences it was difficult to follow who was saying what, Harry decided that nodding was the best policy.

"Or just one of you," he added in a very small voice as both Fred and George took a step towards him.

It was only occurring to him now that maybe he had started something that he couldn't control, especially since the twins appeared to be looking at him like he was the most delicious thing they had ever seen.

"You know..."

"... we share..."

"...everything, Harry."

He swallowed hard as the pair approached him.

"We'd be ..."

"...honoured to help..."

"...you out. We've had..."

"...our eyes on you..."

"...since the Triwizard..."

"...Tournament."

Okay so that was news to Harry, and the couple of butterflies dancing around in his stomach became a whole swarm. When the twins reached him, he found that he had backed all the way to the fireplace and his eyes were flicking between the two wizards like a scared rabbit between a pair of foxes. Never had he associated the word 'predatory' with Fred and George before, but he was suddenly finding it was now a required part of his vocabulary.

"Do you have..."

"...any fantasies you'd like ..."

"...us to fulfil, Harry, or should..."

"...we just play it..."

"...by ear?"

He'd only come up with the whole plan that morning and his fantasy life had far more to do with staying alive than sex, so Harry hadn't actually come up with anything he specifically wanted to do. For a moment he tried to think of something, anything to make him look less like a complete idiot and more like someone who had actually thought this through, but eventually he gave up.

"By ear," he said and cringed as his voice cracked with nervousness.

"Come in to our ..."

"...parlour. Said the spiders..."

"...to the fly."

Fred took one hand, George took the other and Harry found himself being led into another room with no choice in the matter whatsoever. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was completely terrified, but his libido was definitely not against the idea and had sat up and started taking notice, if the sudden rush of blood to certain parts of his anatomy was anything to go by. The new room looked like an office, but before Harry could really take a look at it Fred took his wand out and transfigured the desk into a simple, but never-the-less, functional looking bed. Harry had the distinct impression it was not the first time the twin had performed that particular spell on that particular object and he couldn't help wondering how often this room was used for such nefarious purposes. There were some sturdy looking eyelets at either corner of the bed that he could see, but he decided that he wasn't going to think about those or he might turn and bolt there and then. As George wandered around the room transfiguring various other objects Harry had to conclude that they had had practice at this.

"Do this a lot?" he asked without trying to hide the surprise in his voice.

"This is our special ..."

"...room, Harry. Everything actually started off..."

"...the way it is now. We only..."

"...transfigured it to put..."

"...off mum."

Harry decided to stop playing mental tennis with the pair and just to think of them as one entity with two bodies: it made the whole situation easier as well as saving him a headache. He labelled them Fredngeorge in his head rather than Fred and George and suddenly he wasn't quite so on edge.

"Occasionally we bring...friends here, but usually it's just...us," Fredngeorge's two bodies told him with matching smiles.

A warm feeling of belonging crept up on Harry as he realised he was among a privileged few and he found himself smiling, but the expression faltered when Fredngeorge approached him again. 'Predatory' leapt to the front of his mind again.

"So, Harry...tell us...is there anything...you particularly like?" they asked as they flanked him on both sides.

"Um ... don't know," he admitted, biting his lip as Fredngeorge reached out to run their hands down either of his arms.

"How about kissing?" one asked, stepping closer to him. "You must have done that."

Harry felt his breath catching in his throat as warm air passed over his ear and lips almost touched him.

"Once," he said in a very tiny voice.

"See...we knew there...had to be something... you'd done before," Fredngeorge said lightly.

"She cried," Harry told them before he had time for his brain to catch up with his mouth.

The twins stopped and shared a look; Harry was mortified.

"Well, Harry," the body closest to him said with a smile, "we promise not to blub."

And then he found his mouth caught by hot, demanding lips and Harry moulded to its owner without even thinking. His body reacted and he moved as for once his brain failed to put itself in the way. Possibly there was hope for him yet.

"Fast learner," he heard from Fredngeorge's other body, but he was far too interested in what the tongue that had just forced itself between his lips was doing to really pay much attention.

It had never been like this with Cho and the contact sent stabs of arousal throughout his whole body. Maybe he really was gay: who knew? One body was pressed against him in front and when the other pressed up against him from behind and fixed lips on his neck Harry thought he might have just found heaven. After his experience with Cho he had on occasion wondered what all the fuss was about and he was beginning to understand. When a hand slid round his side and then down over his oversized jeans he couldn't help the yelp as another's fingers made contact with parts that had only ever been his domain before. The twin attached to him at the lips just took this as an opportunity to push his tongue further into Harry's mouth.

"Ooh, Harry," the twin behind him said, "you've been hiding a treasure from us."

Another hand joined the first from Fredngeorge's other body and Harry thought his legs might give out. The kiss broke and he found himself looking into delighted-appearing eyes.

"Let's get...naked," Fredngeorge said brightly and before he could agree of object Harry was being relieved of his clothes.

Whatever practice the pair had had, it involved removing clothes with an almost obscene efficiency and Harry found himself stripped and laying on the bed before he had the remotest chance to feel embarrassed. Fredngeorge followed him onto the mattress equally as unclothed and he found himself between two bodies once more. As Fredngeorge ran two pairs of eyes over him, Harry could not help but feel like the prize exhibit in a gallery and he began to blush furiously.

"Ah...isn't that ...sweet," the twins said with matching grins. "Harry you...definitely need...debauching...you're so...innocent. You...came to the...right place."

That little feeling of worry grew slightly and for the umpteenth time Harry wondered just what he had gotten himself into. However, the kissing and touching started again before he could work himself into anything more than slight anxiety. When the body behind him eventually moved away out of direct contact he began to pay attention again.

"Just relax, pet," the twin in front of him said with what Harry decided was probably supposed to be a comforting smile, but made the butterflies in his stomach cause a thousand hurricanes. "We'll do all the work."

He tried to do as he was told as his leg was lifted and placed on Fredngeorge's hip in front, but his heart was thumping as warmth spread down his back when the other body returned. Something touched gently between the cheeks of his arse and he heard a spell being muttered before he felt strangely empty.

"Just a little preparation," were the only words Harry caught as something warm and slick was inserted into his backside and his brain did a back flip.

His muscles clenched at the intrusion and his breath caught in his throat. Only as the object moved and he felt a knuckle did he realise it was a finger.

"Relax, pet," came from in front and behind at the same time.

Taking a deep breath he tried, but it was such a new sensation that it took him a moment. The finger moved slowly and gently in and out waiting for him to become accustomed to it. A little puritan part of his brain, the bit that Aunt Petunia had actually managed to cultivate, screamed that this was unnatural and perverted, but it was bludgeoned to death by the mob majority of his thoughts that were all in agreement as to quite how nice the intrusion felt.

"Need to loosen...you up, Harry," his lovers told him as one continued his ministrations from behind and the other ran his fingers over Harry's aching nipples, "you're so...tight."

When the finger moved deeper and brushed against a place that Harry never knew existed he saw stars and the moan that came out of his mouth would have made a porn star proud.

"I think he likes that," the body behind him said with a laugh.

The finger brushed the spot a few more times and Harry just let his body do whatever it wanted to; conscious motor control was a thing of the past as far as he was concerned. When the finger was withdrawn he was most disappointed.

"Let's try a little larger now," the twin behind him whispered in his ear and the mob, gung-ho mentality his thoughts had taken up faltered for a moment as fear poked its head out from where it was hiding behind Gryffindor bravado.

This time when something was placed against his now slick entrance it was harder, cooler and as it was pushed slowly in he discovered it was somewhat bigger as well. He groaned as the intrusion stretched the resisting muscle ring, but he relaxed into the sensation, finding it much easier now that he was more used to the invasion of his body. Fear went back to skulking in the background as pleasure exploded and wiped out anything which refused to bend to its will.

Usually Harry was the one in charge; the one in control, but as hands brushed his skin and Fredngeorge made his body sing he had no choice but to simply let it happen. He wanted to reciprocate, but as so many new sensations collided in him he could only react and allow himself to be played. Making a complete idiot out of himself because he tried to move when sensible muscle coordination was not possible was not on the top of his to-do list.

"Toys are your friend, Harry," one of his bed partners decided to enlighten him, but he didn't try to figure out where the voice came from, "always remember that."

Remembering anything right at that moment was a challenge; Harry was sure his brain was leaking out of his ears, or possibly his cock. His arse sort of ached, but it was like the ache in his balls and he wanted more: oh Merlin did he want more. He heard another spell muttered and the intrusion in his behind increased in size slightly at which point his bit down lightly on the nearest piece of flesh, which resulted in a heartfelt moan that for a change wasn't coming from him.

"Ooh, brother mine," the recipient said breathlessly, "we have a biter here."

"Hidden depths," was the reply from behind and Harry felt the toy in his arse being re-angled.

When it was pushed in this time it brushed the same spot the finger had found previously and the little stars were back. They were such wonderful little spots of light, bringing with them a total absence of anything resembling thought. When the body in front of him moved further down the bed and a mouth covered one of his nipples Harry felt like he was going to explode. He had never in a million years dreamed it could be anything like this.

He was paid back for his earlier bite as teeth nipped at the besieged nipple and he realised why he had elicited a moan as he did exactly the same thing. So they were useful for something other than being the only place on his chest he seemed to be able to grow hair.

The ministrations continued and Harry found himself loosing track of time as his body responded to each and every touch of his lovers. If Snape had stormed through the door at that moment, stark naked with a feather up his arse, Harry was pretty sure it wouldn't have made the blindest bit of difference; and considering how he felt about Snape that was saying something indeed. He tried to make a mental note to ask Fredngeorge exactly what part of his anatomy was causing the stars, but it was like trying to pin something on blemanche as his mind rebelled at any notion of logical, cognitive function.

"I do believe he's almost ready," his partner from behind said jubilantly and Harry found his leg being moved slightly higher; fear tried to make itself known again, but pleasure was on its game and gunned fear down like Rambo on pepper-up potion.

He was not consulted in whatever was about to happen, but Harry wasn't complaining; that was until the toy was removed and the body behind him shifted in very close. Blunt and hot, those were the two things he had time to decided on before something far larger than it felt physically possible to insert was being pushed into his arse. It burned and it hurt, but hands clamped on his hips and legs from in front and behind stopped him moving away from the intrusion.

"Relax, pet," Fredngeorge urged gently.

"I think I'd rather die a virgin," Harry gasped as they held him in place.

Fear started doing a victory dance with pain as pleasure looked on in complete confusion.

"Too late," the twin in front of him said with a laugh.

As they remained completely motionless the painful pulling gradually began to fade to the much more pleasant burning ache and Harry's body slowly began to wake up to how this could be enjoyable. Pleasure was playing with a large blunt object, similar in size to what his imagination thought was up his arse, (although in reality he was sure the twin behind him was not quite that well endowed) and definitely had its eye on fear as his strained muscles became used to the whole situation.

"Going to move now, Harry," Fredngeorge told him and begged no argument.

Fear tried to rally support in his brain, but as the twin behind him pushed in further and hit the place where the stars lived, pleasure went on a psychotic killing spree and nothing else mattered. He didn't know how much more of this he could take; there was only so much sensation virgin territory could cope with. When the body in front of him moved even further down the bed he did manage to take on the role of holding his own leg up, but that was about as sensible and coherent as he had any chance of being, especially when a warm, incredible, sensuous, indescribable mouth enveloped his cock. He almost came on the spot, only a sudden pressure just behind his balls stopped him.

"Not yet, Pet," he had to assume that the breathless instruction came from behind since he knew for a fact that the tongue belonging to Fredngeorge's other body was well and truly occupied.

Both bodies were in perfect synchronisation as they set about blowing his mind. Pleasure quickly handed the baton to ecstasy and all other thought processes were drowned in a flood of biblical proportions. The next time he approached explosion point nothing short of the hand of god could have stopped it and he screamed something meaningless, shot hot liquid into the plundering mouth, writhed around the impaling cock up his arse and promptly passed out.

Harry came to feeling dazed and thoroughly sated; he could not help smiling, although he chose not to open his eyes. It was only as he tried to take stock of his body to make sure that everything was still where it was supposed to be that he realised something: he was now lying on his other side. There was a body up close behind him and although he had little experience in this area he was pretty sure that twin was the owner of a very healthy erection. There was also a body in front, currently stroking his chest in a lazy circular pattern. Worry discarded the scuba gear and peered around his flood scoured brain as he opened his eyes and found himself looking at a content face.

"Welcome...back...pet," Fredngeorge said cheerfully. "Did you...like that? You seemed to be...enjoying it; especially...right at the end...there."

"Mmm," was the only reply Harry could manage.

"We like you...Harry," his bed partners continued, "you make...some super...noises and you...move absolutely...deliciously. We decided...that it was only...fair to share...and share alike."

Worry laughed hysterically and abandoned ship as Harry realised they wanted to do that again. He'd ruled out the virgin part, but dying it appeared was still on the agenda.

It was seven in the evening when he staggered back through the fireplace at number 12 Grimauld place. Walking was an optional extra that did not come as standard with his body just at the moment, but he just about managed to keep his feet, especially when he realised Mad-eye was sitting in one of the high backed chairs looking at him.

"And where do you think you've been, Boy?" the old Auror asked curtly before Harry could recover. "There have been people worried about you."

Several sad anc sorry excuses jumped into his head, but they really weren't very spectacular since most of his brain power had long since leaked away. Only one thing really made any sense.

"Loosing my virginity," he said bluntly and then moved passed the startled Auror, trying very hard to walk in a straight line.

Fredngeorge had mentioned something about being free next Saturday and he left the room wondering if he would be recovered enough by then to find out what those sturdy eyelets were actually for.

The End