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beren_writesIt's still at 16 ... but I fear the next chapter may explode into two ... shall have to wait and see :).
Title: Out With the Old, In With the New 06/20
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Chapter 6 Home
Bill had lit up with excitement when they had been about ten minutes from home, which pleased Tom no end and had meant that getting into the house had been less stressful than it could have been. There were no fans outside the house, but there were photographers lurking around the place and Tom had been worried about a repeat of the hospital. As it was, he had found his worry was for nothing; they had stepped out of the van virtually into the front door and that had been it, which was why Tom was breathing a sigh of relief.
"Home," Bill said, standing in the hallway and looking around as if he couldn’t quite believe where he was.
"Home and blocking the doorway," Tom said with a grin as he gently urged Bill to move.
"Well that's my job done," Markus said with a smile as everyone else piled into the house; "home safe and sound."
"Will you stay for supper?" their mum asked and Tom was inclined to agree with her; he was pretty sure no one had eaten much lunch.
"That's very nice of you, Simone," Markus replied and seemed genuinely grateful, "but I'm afraid I have to get back and the delightful Saki here is my lift."
Bill seemed to find Markus' turn of phrase funny if his grin was anything to go by, which had Tom silently cheering inside.
"Well of course Saki is invited as well," Gordon said and patted Saki on the back.
It wouldn't have been the first time Saki had eaten at their house and probably not the last.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot stay either," Saki said with a small nod of his head; "I am needed elsewhere. We are meeting the other van in Hamburg once it has dropped off the others."
Tom was a little surprised at that.
"Are you sure," was the next question from his mother, "it's been a very long day?"
Saki nodded: "But thank you."
"I just have to go and talk to the officers on duty," Markus said cheerfully, "and then we'll be off, but don't worry I'm sure both of us will be back sooner than you think."
"Not too soon I hope," Tom said and laughed when Markus gave him a mock scowl.
It was great to find the atmosphere so much lighter now that they were finally home; he only hoped it would stay that way.
"Love you too, Tomi boy," Markus said and grinned, "see you later."
"Bye," came from several directions at the same time.
It was amazing what a difference some miles made.
"Who's hungry?" their mum asked as she hung up her coat.
Bill grinned.
"Me," Bill said and Tom was glad, because Bill had hardly eaten anything all morning.
When Bill didn't eat, everyone worried, but especially Tom; he hadn't even been able to tempt Bill with sweets, which was saying something. Now they were home, though, Bill seemed to be perking up really well.
"Me too," Tom agreed; he had been worrying so much he hadn't had much appetite either.
"Okay then," their mum said with a smile, "you boys go and settle back in and I'll start supper a little early. Nana came in today and did all the preparation for me so it shouldn’t take too long."
Bill all but bounced all the way to Tom's room after that and leapt onto the bed the moment they made it past the doorway. Tom laughed as Bill sprawled on his back and took up virtually the whole bed; it was huge compared to the hospital one, but Bill seemed to be able to fill it.
"Hey, I have to sleep on there too," Tom laughed, putting the suitcase he was carrying in the corner.
"You can have that bit," Bill said pointing to the corner of the bed.
"We'll see about that," Tom replied and stalked towards the bed.
Then he did something that never would have remotely occurred to him to do while in the hospital; he climbed onto the bed and began tickling Bill. The high pitched girly squeal from Bill was ear splitting, but soon dissolved into uncontrollable laughter and pleas for mercy.
"Okay, okay," Bill panted out between laughs, "I give."
Tom stopped tickling.
"You can have at least a quarter," Bill finished with a mischievous grin.
"Why you little," Tom said and was about to start again when Bill curled into a little ball.
"Pax," Bill said before he could re-instigate the tickling, "no more, we'll share."
"Are you sure, oh diva king," Tom asked, punctuating his words by poking Bill lightly and making his twin squeak and giggle; "I wouldn't want to put you out at all; not like this is my room or anything."
Bill was smiling at him and looked so happy that for a moment Tom almost forgot what had been happening over the past month. For just a little while it was like everything was normal, well almost, the desire to lean down and kiss Bill had never been there before. Slowly Bill stopped laughing and became a little more serious and Tom wasn't quite sure what was going on in Bill's head.
"Thank you," Bill said, lying there looking up at him.
"For what, the bed?" Tom asked, trying to make a joke out of it.
"For bringing me back," Bill replied, perfectly serious now, "for keeping me sane. I couldn't ... not without you."
From giggling and light to deep and serious in a heartbeat; that was their world now and this time Tom couldn't help himself, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Bill's forehead. He made it as chaste and as brotherly as he could and then he drew back.
"Anything for you, Bill," he said, and meant every word, "always."
The tableau held for a few seconds.
"Now we have to get sorted out before mum calls us for supper," Tom said, deciding that after the stress of the day, now was not the time for deep conversations. "You can supervise since you're so good at that and I'll do the work as usual."
Bill grinned again and sat up as Tom climbed off the bed.
"I think we should get one of my Nena posters and put it there," Bill said in a cheeky tone.
Tom looked at where his twin was pointed at one of his Sammy Delux posters.
"Dream on, Billi, dream on," was his response to that.
====
Full was an understatement as far as Bill was concerned; his mother had just fed them to bursting point and he couldn't have eaten another thing if he'd wanted to. He kind of felt like waddling back to Tom's room rather than walking or possibly rolling would have been easier. When he made it into the room he flopped back on the bed.
"God, I think I'm going to explode," he said as Tom did the same beside him, "and no tickling or it's going to be messy."
"I think I'm stuck," Tom said, just lying there and staring at the ceiling, "so there's not much danger of that. I don't think Mum's tried to feed us like that since that time you were in hospital when we were kids."
"Maybe it's a default setting," Bill suggested with a grin; "boys home from hospital, must feed them."
"Hell, I'm never breaking a leg," Tom said resolutely, "then I wouldn't even be able to run away."
That made Bill laugh, but he was soon groaning.
"Don't say funny things," he complained, holding his stomach; "laughing hurts."
Tom sniggered at that and then made Bill want to giggle again with a groan. Just lying there and letting the food settle did occur to Bill, but it was coming on to evening and he always had the most energy then. Staying in one spot had an appeal, but not to his brain.
"I want to go online," he decided suddenly, sitting up very slowly and wondering if that was the way pregnant women felt when trying to move with a baby on the way.
"Um, that might not be such a good idea," Tom said, still lying down, but sounding somewhat worried.
Bill turned and looked at his twin and he knew why Tom was not overly happy about the idea. At the moment he had a lot of triggers, sometimes ridiculously innocent things, and he didn't want to fall apart any more than Tom wanted him to. The afternoon had been enough stress for one day.
"I don't want to surf," he said with a little smile, "I want to post on the blog."
The North American blog had been so successful that they'd had to set one up in German as well. A member of the band tried to post to it at least once a week, or had done, Bill wasn't sure if it had been kept up while he was missing.
"I want to let the fans know we're home safe and to thank them for today and all the letters and gifts," he explained as Tom looked dubious.
They hadn't been able to go online at the hospital, it hadn't been an option, but Bill was pretty sure it was one of the inadvisable pastimes like watching the news. He didn't mind that he was being shielded from everything; he didn't want to face most of it at the moment, but he was going to have to start doing so soon and this seemed like a good way to start.
"Please?" he said and knew that Tom wouldn't be able to resist.
Tom sat up, grumbling under his breath about headstrong brothers and it made Bill smile as his twin fished out the laptop.
"Thank you," Bill said as he accepted the device and put it on his knee.
It was Tom's laptop not his own, but there was a shortcut at the top of the browser as soon as it popped up, so he clicked on it and waited for the page to load. He didn't wait around on the main page; as soon as the menu loaded he clicked on the post option and filled in the username and password.
It was a classic beginning and Tom didn't say anything as his twin sat down and watched over his shoulder.
"So that's what you want to do next then?" Tom asked with a laugh.
"It means not moving," Bill replied and tried to decide what to type next.
"Nicely put," Tom said and gave him a quick hug, "now post it and put that damn thing away so we can choose a DVD and relax."
Bill smiled at his twin, hit the post button and closed the laptop. He'd had enough excitement for one day.
====
Bill was asleep, very deeply asleep, so Tom had taken the opportunity to wander into the kitchen where he knew he would find his mother cooking. Feeding Bill seemed to be very high on his mum's priority list at the moment and Tom had never seen her cook so much. They had been at home a day and more food than any family could ever possibly eat had come out of the kitchen so far; much to the joy of the policemen stationed outside, who were eating like kings.
"Hi Mum," Tom said, folding himself into one of the kitchen chairs.
"Hello, Darling," Simone replied with a smile as she poured something into a saucepan; "is Bill sleeping again?"
Tom nodded when his mum glanced at him.
"Out like a light," he replied, pulling one of his dreads round from behind his head and playing with it.
It was amazing how interesting a bit of hair could be when it was a welcome distraction.
"Okay, Tomi," his mum said, making him look up, "tell me what's bothering you."
Turning the heat down on the stove, his mother sat down in the chair opposite him and looked him directly in the eye.
"Why would something be bothering me?" he asked, trying for an innocent tone and missing; he had never been able to lie to his mother.
"Because, Darling, you only ever do that when you're nervous," his mum said and pointed at the dread he was twisting in his fingers.
His mother could read him almost as well as Bill could and he knew there was no point pretending anymore.
"Ummm ..." wasn't an overly good start to a conversation, "Syb told you and Gordon everything right?"
There were some things that weren't mentioned anywhere near Bill, just in case Bill wasn't as asleep as he seemed, and the full extent of the bond was one of them, so Tom had had no chance to talk about it with his mother or step-father. As soon as his question was out, his mother reached out and took his hand as she nodded.
"Syb and Markus explained everything, yes," she said, looking him straight in the eye, "and you don't have to worry, Tom, Gordon and I are behind you all the way."
Tom was kind of relieved and kind of terrified at the same time; at least he didn't have to reveal the details. He had been almost positive that his mother knew, but he had had to make sure.
"It's weird, Mama," Tom said, needing to talk to someone about it, "but it feels so right."
"I can tell," his mother said and patted him on the hand.
For a moment Tom felt horrified; he was instantly terrified that he was being obvious.
"And don't look so worried," his mum told him with a small smile, "I'm your mother; I see things no one else could possibly see."
Tom felt his heart slowing down a little at that information; it wasn't that he wanted to hide the bond; it was that he knew he had to. No one could possibly understand, not even those they worked with all the time.
"When Markus first told me, I wanted to deny it," Tom said, confessing his fears to the only person he felt comfortable telling, "but I can't. Every time I'm close to Bill I can feel it like it's part of me. He's everything to me, Mama, absolutely everything."
"You've always been close," his mother said and he looked into her eyes, needing to see that she wasn't just saying something to try and make him feel better, "and I won't lie to you, I didn't like it when Sybil told us the truth, but you are my boys and this is how it is now. I don't understand it all, but I know you, Tom, and you would never do anything to hurt Bill and I also know Bill needs you. You're holding him together, Sweetheart and I think you will be in one way or another for a long time to come."
For a long while Tom just faced his mother and let his mind work. It amazed him a little, how well his parent was taking the whole situation, but then his mother had always supported both him and Bill in whatever they chose.
"I'm terrified he will be afraid," he admitted quietly; "that he's suddenly going to realise what's going on and it'll frighten him."
His mother put her hand on his cheek and stroked gently.
"He will never be afraid of you," she said with a certainty that almost put his fears to rest.
"But what that monster did to him, Mama," he said in little more than a whisper, "it was so terrible. If he realises I want the same..."
"Tom," his mother interrupted him, "you will never want anything the same as the evil that took Bill. What you feel is completely different."
"But Bill's so innocent of it all," he protested, unable to let go of the anxiety that had been troubling him, "it's going to be such a shock."
"And I have complete faith you will help him through it," his mother told him and he could see the belief in her eyes. "This is not something that can be changed, Tomi. I know that much, I asked Sybil and Markus and another thing I know is that you have the strength in you to deal with this."
The support meant more to Tom than he could say and he squeezed his mum's hand in thanks. It was going to be hard, but he would find a way.
====
It was a good day so far; Bill hadn't had any nightmares the previous night, so they had slept the whole night through and Bill had been cheerful and happy for most of the morning. It was around lunch time that Tom noticed a change and Bill became quiet and a little withdrawn. He didn't know what had set his twin off, but he did his best to cheer Bill up without being overbearing. So far it wasn't working and Bill was sitting staring at the TV in the living room not really seeing it as far as Tom could tell. He was a little worried, but he knew he couldn't push Bill too hard or he would only make it worse.
"It was a nice room," Bill said out of the blue as the TV station flipped to adverts.
It was so random that for once Tom had no idea what Bill was talking about.
"What room?" he asked, not sure where this was heading.
"The room I woke up in," Bill said slowly, still staring at the TV.
That made Tom stop everything else he was thinking. So far Bill had not spoken of what happened to him in anything but vague references; he'd only shared that with Syb in the very direct way they had of communicating. That Bill was talking about any of it was very significant and Tom was nervous as to how to go on.
"What was it like?" he asked, hoping that he would not push Bill in the wrong direction.
"It was a bit girlie," Bill said with little emotion in his voice, "but it was nicely decorated. The bed was all white and the chest of drawers and desk were dark oak. It was like something out of film. If it hadn't been ..." Bill's voice cracked a little, "if ... I would have liked it."
Some parts of the conversation were obviously more difficult for Bill than others, so Tom just waited for his twin to go on.
"I woke up wearing one of those silk robes you see on TV shows," Bill continued after a moment, "and silk pyjama bottoms. It was really weird and I couldn't work out what was going on. I didn't remember the hotel room then; it was like my memory wasn't working properly."
Tom shifted in his seat and moved closer to Bill.
"He was there," Bill said, voice becoming quieter, "waiting for me to wake up. I remember him being there, but I can't remember his face; I know he was handsome, but I don't know what he looks like. How odd is that?"
Bill finally looked at him then and Tom reached out and took his twin's hand.
"He was playing with your mind," he said gently; "you can't be expected to remember things like that."
"For the longest time I didn't know what to do," Bill said, looking perplexed; "I wasn't even really afraid. I talked to him and he talked to me and it was like talking to anyone else. There was wine and food and I tried to say I didn't want any, but I ended up eating and drinking anyway. I knew he was trying to seduce me and at first I didn't really care."
Bill frowned and looked down at the floor.
"He kissed me and it was almost nice," Bill continued after a moment, "but I knew something was wrong. I tried to push him away and he wouldn't let go and then he bit me and ..." Bill's tone was agitated and scared, "and he tried to reach into my head and it felt so wrong. I tried to fight him, but he was so strong and I couldn't get away and all I could think about was getting back to you."
Tom opened his arms and Bill was wrapped around him in a second. Bill was trembling uncontrollably.
"He was angry, Tomi, so angry," Bill did not stop speaking, "because it didn't work. He threw me onto the bed and he said, 'Now we do it the hard way'. He began tearing at my clothes and I saw his fangs and I remembered the hotel and then I was so scared. I kicked at him and he called the ... the others ... they held ... me down while ... he ... he ..."
Bill was becoming hysterical and Tom pulled his twin close, stroking his hair and trying to soothe Bill's pain.
"Ssh," he said, trying to pull Bill away from the memory, "you don't have to tell me. He can't hurt you anymore, I've got you."
He felt Bill burying his face in his shoulder and he was not surprised when the tears started. All he could do was hold Bill close and let him cry. It hurt to see Bill in so much pain; to see his lively, happy twin reduced to someone so damaged and he prayed with everything he had that he could heal everything that had been done to Bill. It made him so angry that he wanted to lash out, but there was no one to lash out at and so all that was left was being Bill's rock and protector like he had always been.
Looking up, he saw him mum in the doorway and he shook his head slightly at her questioning glance. There was nothing anyone could do at the moment except be there and letting Bill deal with his emotions was his job this time.
====
"What a lovely home," Syb said as Bill lead her into the living room.
"We like it," Tom commented from where he was sitting in one of the arm chairs.
Bill smiled a little as his twin tried to lighten the atmosphere, but Syb's visits tended to be hard on Bill, so he wasn't really in the mood. He did his best to wander over to Tom's chair rather than run, and sat down on the arm as casually as he could, but, by the way Tom looped an arm around his waist, he knew he wasn't overly successful in his deception.
"Make yourselves at home," he invited as Markus walked in as well.
Sybil smiled and took up a position on the sofa and Markus sat on the other end. It felt somewhat strange to have Markus actually sit down, but then it was strange not to be sitting on a bed in this situation, so Bill did his best to ignore the disquiet the newness caused. He had never been one to like routine, but lately it comforted him and he was trying not to become dependent.
"There are many happy years here," Syb said and for a moment Bill thought the female vampire's eyes were a little vacant, "I can feel it."
"Really?" he asked, since he had learned that Syb was quite often literal and filing away the new piece of information.
"Yes," Syb said and ran her hand across the sofa arm, "it is a talent I grew into. The feelings are only ever vague, but I can find the sense of a place. This is a good place."
Bill found himself smiling a little at that; he was pleased his friend and mentor felt that way.
"So what are we going to do tonight," he balled up his courage and asked what he really wanted to know.
"This evening I thought we would just talk," Syb said and, by the sympathetic look on her face, seemed to know what he was thinking. "We haven’t really had much opportunity to do that. I think it's time I explained a few things, unless of course there is something you would like to talk about instead."
Bill shook his head; he was quite happy to let Syb do the talking for a while. They had had brief chats while he was in the hospital, but their exchanges had been mostly at a far more fundamental level than that and he was pretty sure Tom knew a lot more about Strigoi than he did at the current moment in time.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, beginning to feel a little less stressed by the whole situation.
"You," Syb replied with a smile, "or rather your current status. Up until now our discussions have been mostly general and I thought you might like to know more about day dwellers."
Bill relaxed a bit more; that didn't sound bad at all and he nodded. So far he knew some details about Strigoi and he knew that he was unusual because he could go out in the daylight, but that was about it.
"That would be good," he said and for the first time that evening, meant it.
It was then that his mother walked in with a tray of drinks. There had been the whole discussion at the door about what everyone would like and Bill had been expecting his mum to reappear at any moment.
"Thanks, Mum," he said as he was presented with a large mug of coffee.
Everyone else accepted their drinks gratefully and then his mum went to leave again.
"You can stay if you want to, Mama," he said on impulse.
Gordon was out at band practice and Bill appreciated that his mother was trying to give them some space, but there was no reason for her to leave now.
"I don't want to intrude," his mum said, obviously surprised by the invitation.
So far there had been a distinct divide between human and vampire interaction, his parents had mostly been day visitors and Syb and Markus had been evening visitors; there had only been the one crossover. It seemed a little silly to keep that up now that there was no concept of visiting hours.
"We were going to discuss Strigoi day dwellers," Syb explained in a kind tone, "you are most welcome to stay, Simone."
Bill gave his mother an encouraging smile and he could see her relax; it appeared she had been as worried as he had been as well.
"I'll just pop this back in the kitchen," his mum said as she acquiesced and then disappeared through the door.
By the time they were all ready and comfortable, Bill was halfway through his coffee and feeling quite calm. It of course helped that Tom was right there beside him; Tom's presence always made it easier to relax.
"So," Syb said once they were ready to begin, "I know you know that day dwellers are unusual, Bill, but I'm not sure you realise how unusual. The reason it would never have occurred to your kidnapper that you could be one is that at the current time there are only four others. The oldest is Uri and he lives in Moscow at the moment; he's so old no one is sure if he really is a day dweller, or he just became that way with age. From what I understand he is not fond of other Strigoi. Naomi and Daniel are the other two day dwellers that we as a race have not lost track of and Naomi lives in North America and Daniel somewhere in Asia. The last, Peter, disappeared into the Tibetan mountains two hundred years ago and has not been seen since, but the occasional report comes back that makes most of us think he is still alive."
"Four, just four?" Bill didn't quite believe it.
In his head he had pictured himself as part of a smaller subgroup of Strigoi, but something like ambidextrous people verses handed people, not one of five.
"There have been more," Syb said with a smile, "but vampires, like any other race are susceptible to wars and despots."
"So what makes a day dweller?" Tom asked, clearly very curious.
Bill was still in shock, but he murmured his agreement to the question.
"No one knows," Markus said with his usual irreverent grin, "and you should hear some of the elders go on when they debate and try and figure it out. The arguments are spectacular."
The fond smile Syb bestowed on Markus was something Bill could relate to; he often felt like that when Tom launched in with things too.
"As Markus so delicately put it," Syb said, clearly amused, "that is a question that has yet to be answered and our race had been debating the subject for a very long time. What it means in the end is that you are very special to us."
That wasn't something Bill had heard before.
"Why?" he didn't see why just being usual would make him special; in his experience being unusual tended to make people outcasts.
"Rank within Strigoi society comes with age, because with age comes power," Syb replied; "very rarely do Strigoi come into being who have innate power, although it does occasionally happen. A day dweller is the ultimate; the epitome of Strigoi power: to be able to walk in the sun without fear."
"What she's trying to say is that you are a diamond in a coal mine," Markus said with a laugh and this time Syb rolled her eyes at her bond mate.
"I seriously wonder why I put up with you sometimes," she said, but the fond smile was back.
Bill found the interplay between the two fascinating.
"Some very important people are interested in your wellbeing, Bill," Syb told him, which kind of surprised him; he had just assumed he was a blip in the Strigoi scheme of things, "and when you are ready they would very much like to meet you."
He wasn't quite sure whether to be worried about that or not. He had met a total of two Strigoi, one had hurt him, the other had helped him and it left him somewhat conflicted.
"But all I can do is walk around in daylight," he said, still not seeing what Syb was getting at, "why does that make me so special?"
"Because it means you have been a vampire for less than a month and yet you have the power of one thousands of years old," Syb said, although she seemed to understand his confusion.
Bill still didn't see why being able to take daylight made him special even if it was a trait of very old vampires, but he didn't ask again. Clearly Strigoi cared a great deal about it, so who was he to argue?
"So who are these important people?" he asked instead; he liked to know who people were even if he didn't think he'd be ready to see them for a while.
"The elders," Syb said with a smile, "which at the moment in Germany means four Strigoi. I won't bore you with names at the moment because they will mean nothing to you, but rightly or wrongly, when your attacker is caught he will automatically be tried by the highest court we have because of your status."
He wondered briefly what would have happened if he had just been an ordinary Strigoi, but then it occurred to him he would be dead in that case which meant the whole train of thought was a dead end, so he gave up. If this was the way it was he wasn't about to argue with centuries of vampire tradition. He also didn't want to dwell on any thoughts of his attacker at the moment.
"So are there a certain number of elders in a country or is it everyone over a certain age or what?" he asked, hoping that it would take his mind off of everything else.
Syb smiled and Marcus groaned.
"You had to ask that didn't you," Markus said with a shake of his head; "I had hoped to be home before dawn."
"It's complicated," Syb said, tapping Markus on the knee, "but it does have a convoluted logic."
Bill wondered if possibly he should have asked a different question.
====
Tom wandered into the kitchen behind Syb and put the empty mugs he was carrying down on the table. Markus, Bill and their mum were talking about art in the twentieth century, a subject that had absolutely nothing to do with Strigoi and which seemed to have been reached more from desperation than anything else. Syb's explanation of the structure of Strigoi society had been a little complex to say the least and Tom was sure his brain had melted at one point in the hour long talk. Syb had mentioned one elder who had been a painter just after the hour mark and Bill had jumped on the subject like a lifeline; it had been quite funny to watch.
There was now a lively discussion going on about things Tom had no interest in and so he had volunteered to make more drinks. He had been a little surprised when Syb had offered to help, but as he switched on the kettle and went to the fridge for the bottle of wine, his thoughts returned to earlier in the evening.
"It's not just the walking around in daylight is it?" he said, as a question he had held back asking in the other room jumped to mind. "With day dwellers," he added when Syb looked at him; "it can't just be that."
"It is most likely not," Syb replied with a nod, "but I did not think Bill was quite ready for that conversation yet."
Tom had to agree; overwhelming Bill was not something he wanted anyone to do at the moment.
"What else is there?" he asked; Bill might not be ready for the news, but he wanted to be.
"With age vampires gain more than the ability to venture out in daylight," Syb told him, rinsing the glasses and mugs under the tap as she spoke, "but it depends on the individual what these other powers may be. Some barely gain anything at all, others develop psychic ability or powers of the mind. Day dwellers come into being with everything that can be switched on automatically and if Bill has other abilities they will probably begin to manifest over the next few months. It is impossible to say what they might be."
"Will they be a problem?" he asked, worried that this might be more than Bill could cope with.
Syb gave him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his arm lightly in support.
"No," she replied and went back to cleaning the mugs, "he will be ready for them when they appear. We have a saying: 'With age comes the person', which basically means that the years bring us to who we are supposed to be. Bill does not need age, he just needs to adjust and then he will become whatever he is meant to be."
It all sounded a bit up in the air to Tom, but Syb had not led him wrong on anything so far. He nodded, accepting what she said and focused on pouring the wine into the now clean glasses. If Syb was right, then Bill would become the best he could be, which had to be a good thing, but the only niggling worry Tom had was Bill had a way of being spectacular without even trying. It was just how Bill was and he wondered if Strigoi society was ready for a Kaulitz.
====
Bill felt good; he was warm, he was comfortable and he was aroused. He felt safe and happy and the feelings running through him were wonderful. His sleep had been calm and undisturbed and he felt rested and waking up to this was nice. It was only as he moved slowly against the body beside him, enjoying the wonderful friction, that his mind began to clear more. He stilled suddenly as he realised where he was and what he was doing; he was horrified.
He didn't know what to do as shame washed over him; he was virtually lying on Tom and he had been rubbing against his twin. It was almost impossible to believe that he could have done something like that, and to his own brother. Feeling lower than dirt, he went to pull away, to hide his shame, but Tom's arm tightened on him. He made a distressed little sound and tried to pull away again.
"Ssh," Tom said, stroking his hair, "just relax, let it go."
The comfort that Tom's presence gave him warred with the shame and humiliation he was feeling, but eventually the call of his bond mate was too much and he had to give in.
"I didn't mean it," he said, horrified that he could be doing such a thing.
He had been degraded and humiliated by another forcing himself on him and that he could do anything remotely similar appalled him.
"It's okay," Tom told him, still petting him gently; "it's instinct," when Tom urged him to look up, he had no choice but to do so, "but, Bill, you did mean it."
He wanted to say he didn't, that he would never do something like that to Tom, but he was looking into his twin's eyes and he could see that Tom meant every word. Something was going on here; something he didn't understand and it frightened him.
"You don't have to be afraid of what you feel," Tom said, smoothing his hair and speaking very softly. "Too many things have happened to you, you don't have to worry with me; I am here, whatever you need."
Bill didn't know what Tom was trying to say; he could not let Tom sacrifice himself because he now had instincts that shouldn't be. It spurred defiance in him and he tried to move away.
"Bill," Tom held him and spoke to him and refused to let him go, "we're bonded; I'm your bond mate; this is normal. I want it too."
Those words froze him and, for just a moment, Tom's arms seemed threatening and he almost struggled. As if his twin could read his mind, Tom's grip released at exactly the right moment, before panic overtook him, and he remained where he was. There were too many thoughts flying around his head and he didn't know what to do.
"Relax," Tom said, trying to soothe him again, "everything is fine. Nothing happens unless you want it to, Billi, but you don't have to fight what you need."
"I..." he tried to find something to say, but he had no words.
He was confused, afraid and full of shame.
"I love you, Bill," Tom told him, "you are everything to me and I want to be everything to you. This is not wrong; it can never be wrong."
Bill wanted to believe that, but his thoughts were so mixed up, all he could do was hold to Tom and hope that things would start making sense again. Since he had been taken, everything had been strange and it was all too much.
"Go back to sleep," Tom urged, rubbing his back in slow circles; "everything will look better when you aren't so tired."
Fighting sleep seemed to be a far better idea if this was what he did in his dreams, but Tom's touch was soothing and it had been a very long day and evening. He hadn't moved that far from sleep as it was and, despite his misgivings, he let his eyes fall closed. Maybe Tom was right, maybe it would look different when he could think properly. Pushing the troubling thoughts away, something his logical mind whispered he was becoming far too good at, he accepted the comfort instead and let Tom's gentle fingers lull him to sleep.
End of Part 6
On to Next Part
Title: Out With the Old, In With the New 06/20
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Chapter 6 Home
Bill had lit up with excitement when they had been about ten minutes from home, which pleased Tom no end and had meant that getting into the house had been less stressful than it could have been. There were no fans outside the house, but there were photographers lurking around the place and Tom had been worried about a repeat of the hospital. As it was, he had found his worry was for nothing; they had stepped out of the van virtually into the front door and that had been it, which was why Tom was breathing a sigh of relief.
"Home," Bill said, standing in the hallway and looking around as if he couldn’t quite believe where he was.
"Home and blocking the doorway," Tom said with a grin as he gently urged Bill to move.
"Well that's my job done," Markus said with a smile as everyone else piled into the house; "home safe and sound."
"Will you stay for supper?" their mum asked and Tom was inclined to agree with her; he was pretty sure no one had eaten much lunch.
"That's very nice of you, Simone," Markus replied and seemed genuinely grateful, "but I'm afraid I have to get back and the delightful Saki here is my lift."
Bill seemed to find Markus' turn of phrase funny if his grin was anything to go by, which had Tom silently cheering inside.
"Well of course Saki is invited as well," Gordon said and patted Saki on the back.
It wouldn't have been the first time Saki had eaten at their house and probably not the last.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot stay either," Saki said with a small nod of his head; "I am needed elsewhere. We are meeting the other van in Hamburg once it has dropped off the others."
Tom was a little surprised at that.
"Are you sure," was the next question from his mother, "it's been a very long day?"
Saki nodded: "But thank you."
"I just have to go and talk to the officers on duty," Markus said cheerfully, "and then we'll be off, but don't worry I'm sure both of us will be back sooner than you think."
"Not too soon I hope," Tom said and laughed when Markus gave him a mock scowl.
It was great to find the atmosphere so much lighter now that they were finally home; he only hoped it would stay that way.
"Love you too, Tomi boy," Markus said and grinned, "see you later."
"Bye," came from several directions at the same time.
It was amazing what a difference some miles made.
"Who's hungry?" their mum asked as she hung up her coat.
Bill grinned.
"Me," Bill said and Tom was glad, because Bill had hardly eaten anything all morning.
When Bill didn't eat, everyone worried, but especially Tom; he hadn't even been able to tempt Bill with sweets, which was saying something. Now they were home, though, Bill seemed to be perking up really well.
"Me too," Tom agreed; he had been worrying so much he hadn't had much appetite either.
"Okay then," their mum said with a smile, "you boys go and settle back in and I'll start supper a little early. Nana came in today and did all the preparation for me so it shouldn’t take too long."
Bill all but bounced all the way to Tom's room after that and leapt onto the bed the moment they made it past the doorway. Tom laughed as Bill sprawled on his back and took up virtually the whole bed; it was huge compared to the hospital one, but Bill seemed to be able to fill it.
"Hey, I have to sleep on there too," Tom laughed, putting the suitcase he was carrying in the corner.
"You can have that bit," Bill said pointing to the corner of the bed.
"We'll see about that," Tom replied and stalked towards the bed.
Then he did something that never would have remotely occurred to him to do while in the hospital; he climbed onto the bed and began tickling Bill. The high pitched girly squeal from Bill was ear splitting, but soon dissolved into uncontrollable laughter and pleas for mercy.
"Okay, okay," Bill panted out between laughs, "I give."
Tom stopped tickling.
"You can have at least a quarter," Bill finished with a mischievous grin.
"Why you little," Tom said and was about to start again when Bill curled into a little ball.
"Pax," Bill said before he could re-instigate the tickling, "no more, we'll share."
"Are you sure, oh diva king," Tom asked, punctuating his words by poking Bill lightly and making his twin squeak and giggle; "I wouldn't want to put you out at all; not like this is my room or anything."
Bill was smiling at him and looked so happy that for a moment Tom almost forgot what had been happening over the past month. For just a little while it was like everything was normal, well almost, the desire to lean down and kiss Bill had never been there before. Slowly Bill stopped laughing and became a little more serious and Tom wasn't quite sure what was going on in Bill's head.
"Thank you," Bill said, lying there looking up at him.
"For what, the bed?" Tom asked, trying to make a joke out of it.
"For bringing me back," Bill replied, perfectly serious now, "for keeping me sane. I couldn't ... not without you."
From giggling and light to deep and serious in a heartbeat; that was their world now and this time Tom couldn't help himself, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Bill's forehead. He made it as chaste and as brotherly as he could and then he drew back.
"Anything for you, Bill," he said, and meant every word, "always."
The tableau held for a few seconds.
"Now we have to get sorted out before mum calls us for supper," Tom said, deciding that after the stress of the day, now was not the time for deep conversations. "You can supervise since you're so good at that and I'll do the work as usual."
Bill grinned again and sat up as Tom climbed off the bed.
"I think we should get one of my Nena posters and put it there," Bill said in a cheeky tone.
Tom looked at where his twin was pointed at one of his Sammy Delux posters.
"Dream on, Billi, dream on," was his response to that.
====
Full was an understatement as far as Bill was concerned; his mother had just fed them to bursting point and he couldn't have eaten another thing if he'd wanted to. He kind of felt like waddling back to Tom's room rather than walking or possibly rolling would have been easier. When he made it into the room he flopped back on the bed.
"God, I think I'm going to explode," he said as Tom did the same beside him, "and no tickling or it's going to be messy."
"I think I'm stuck," Tom said, just lying there and staring at the ceiling, "so there's not much danger of that. I don't think Mum's tried to feed us like that since that time you were in hospital when we were kids."
"Maybe it's a default setting," Bill suggested with a grin; "boys home from hospital, must feed them."
"Hell, I'm never breaking a leg," Tom said resolutely, "then I wouldn't even be able to run away."
That made Bill laugh, but he was soon groaning.
"Don't say funny things," he complained, holding his stomach; "laughing hurts."
Tom sniggered at that and then made Bill want to giggle again with a groan. Just lying there and letting the food settle did occur to Bill, but it was coming on to evening and he always had the most energy then. Staying in one spot had an appeal, but not to his brain.
"I want to go online," he decided suddenly, sitting up very slowly and wondering if that was the way pregnant women felt when trying to move with a baby on the way.
"Um, that might not be such a good idea," Tom said, still lying down, but sounding somewhat worried.
Bill turned and looked at his twin and he knew why Tom was not overly happy about the idea. At the moment he had a lot of triggers, sometimes ridiculously innocent things, and he didn't want to fall apart any more than Tom wanted him to. The afternoon had been enough stress for one day.
"I don't want to surf," he said with a little smile, "I want to post on the blog."
The North American blog had been so successful that they'd had to set one up in German as well. A member of the band tried to post to it at least once a week, or had done, Bill wasn't sure if it had been kept up while he was missing.
"I want to let the fans know we're home safe and to thank them for today and all the letters and gifts," he explained as Tom looked dubious.
They hadn't been able to go online at the hospital, it hadn't been an option, but Bill was pretty sure it was one of the inadvisable pastimes like watching the news. He didn't mind that he was being shielded from everything; he didn't want to face most of it at the moment, but he was going to have to start doing so soon and this seemed like a good way to start.
"Please?" he said and knew that Tom wouldn't be able to resist.
Tom sat up, grumbling under his breath about headstrong brothers and it made Bill smile as his twin fished out the laptop.
"Thank you," Bill said as he accepted the device and put it on his knee.
It was Tom's laptop not his own, but there was a shortcut at the top of the browser as soon as it popped up, so he clicked on it and waited for the page to load. He didn't wait around on the main page; as soon as the menu loaded he clicked on the post option and filled in the username and password.
Hello
It was a classic beginning and Tom didn't say anything as his twin sat down and watched over his shoulder.
This is Bill. Tom and I are at home now safely curled up in Tom's room and about to watch a DVD.
"So that's what you want to do next then?" Tom asked with a laugh.
"It means not moving," Bill replied and tried to decide what to type next.
We wanted to thank you all for your support. I've seen some of the letters and cards and some of the gifts, thank you all for thinking of us.
David had told him there was a mail room of stuff that had come in, but he hadn't actually been in any state to deal with most of it. All he had really seen was a few choice cards that his mother had brought in and the bear he had been clutching all the way home.
Thank you also to the fans who were outside the hospital this afternoon. I can't condone assaulting anyone, even photographers (or David would kill me), but attack of the soft toys was very welcome at the time :).
I hope you can be patient with me; it's going to be a little while before I can come back to Tokio Hotel, but I hope it won't be too long. Thank you for all being there, we'll see you when we can.
"Nicely put," Tom said and gave him a quick hug, "now post it and put that damn thing away so we can choose a DVD and relax."
Bill smiled at his twin, hit the post button and closed the laptop. He'd had enough excitement for one day.
====
Bill was asleep, very deeply asleep, so Tom had taken the opportunity to wander into the kitchen where he knew he would find his mother cooking. Feeding Bill seemed to be very high on his mum's priority list at the moment and Tom had never seen her cook so much. They had been at home a day and more food than any family could ever possibly eat had come out of the kitchen so far; much to the joy of the policemen stationed outside, who were eating like kings.
"Hi Mum," Tom said, folding himself into one of the kitchen chairs.
"Hello, Darling," Simone replied with a smile as she poured something into a saucepan; "is Bill sleeping again?"
Tom nodded when his mum glanced at him.
"Out like a light," he replied, pulling one of his dreads round from behind his head and playing with it.
It was amazing how interesting a bit of hair could be when it was a welcome distraction.
"Okay, Tomi," his mum said, making him look up, "tell me what's bothering you."
Turning the heat down on the stove, his mother sat down in the chair opposite him and looked him directly in the eye.
"Why would something be bothering me?" he asked, trying for an innocent tone and missing; he had never been able to lie to his mother.
"Because, Darling, you only ever do that when you're nervous," his mum said and pointed at the dread he was twisting in his fingers.
His mother could read him almost as well as Bill could and he knew there was no point pretending anymore.
"Ummm ..." wasn't an overly good start to a conversation, "Syb told you and Gordon everything right?"
There were some things that weren't mentioned anywhere near Bill, just in case Bill wasn't as asleep as he seemed, and the full extent of the bond was one of them, so Tom had had no chance to talk about it with his mother or step-father. As soon as his question was out, his mother reached out and took his hand as she nodded.
"Syb and Markus explained everything, yes," she said, looking him straight in the eye, "and you don't have to worry, Tom, Gordon and I are behind you all the way."
Tom was kind of relieved and kind of terrified at the same time; at least he didn't have to reveal the details. He had been almost positive that his mother knew, but he had had to make sure.
"It's weird, Mama," Tom said, needing to talk to someone about it, "but it feels so right."
"I can tell," his mother said and patted him on the hand.
For a moment Tom felt horrified; he was instantly terrified that he was being obvious.
"And don't look so worried," his mum told him with a small smile, "I'm your mother; I see things no one else could possibly see."
Tom felt his heart slowing down a little at that information; it wasn't that he wanted to hide the bond; it was that he knew he had to. No one could possibly understand, not even those they worked with all the time.
"When Markus first told me, I wanted to deny it," Tom said, confessing his fears to the only person he felt comfortable telling, "but I can't. Every time I'm close to Bill I can feel it like it's part of me. He's everything to me, Mama, absolutely everything."
"You've always been close," his mother said and he looked into her eyes, needing to see that she wasn't just saying something to try and make him feel better, "and I won't lie to you, I didn't like it when Sybil told us the truth, but you are my boys and this is how it is now. I don't understand it all, but I know you, Tom, and you would never do anything to hurt Bill and I also know Bill needs you. You're holding him together, Sweetheart and I think you will be in one way or another for a long time to come."
For a long while Tom just faced his mother and let his mind work. It amazed him a little, how well his parent was taking the whole situation, but then his mother had always supported both him and Bill in whatever they chose.
"I'm terrified he will be afraid," he admitted quietly; "that he's suddenly going to realise what's going on and it'll frighten him."
His mother put her hand on his cheek and stroked gently.
"He will never be afraid of you," she said with a certainty that almost put his fears to rest.
"But what that monster did to him, Mama," he said in little more than a whisper, "it was so terrible. If he realises I want the same..."
"Tom," his mother interrupted him, "you will never want anything the same as the evil that took Bill. What you feel is completely different."
"But Bill's so innocent of it all," he protested, unable to let go of the anxiety that had been troubling him, "it's going to be such a shock."
"And I have complete faith you will help him through it," his mother told him and he could see the belief in her eyes. "This is not something that can be changed, Tomi. I know that much, I asked Sybil and Markus and another thing I know is that you have the strength in you to deal with this."
The support meant more to Tom than he could say and he squeezed his mum's hand in thanks. It was going to be hard, but he would find a way.
====
It was a good day so far; Bill hadn't had any nightmares the previous night, so they had slept the whole night through and Bill had been cheerful and happy for most of the morning. It was around lunch time that Tom noticed a change and Bill became quiet and a little withdrawn. He didn't know what had set his twin off, but he did his best to cheer Bill up without being overbearing. So far it wasn't working and Bill was sitting staring at the TV in the living room not really seeing it as far as Tom could tell. He was a little worried, but he knew he couldn't push Bill too hard or he would only make it worse.
"It was a nice room," Bill said out of the blue as the TV station flipped to adverts.
It was so random that for once Tom had no idea what Bill was talking about.
"What room?" he asked, not sure where this was heading.
"The room I woke up in," Bill said slowly, still staring at the TV.
That made Tom stop everything else he was thinking. So far Bill had not spoken of what happened to him in anything but vague references; he'd only shared that with Syb in the very direct way they had of communicating. That Bill was talking about any of it was very significant and Tom was nervous as to how to go on.
"What was it like?" he asked, hoping that he would not push Bill in the wrong direction.
"It was a bit girlie," Bill said with little emotion in his voice, "but it was nicely decorated. The bed was all white and the chest of drawers and desk were dark oak. It was like something out of film. If it hadn't been ..." Bill's voice cracked a little, "if ... I would have liked it."
Some parts of the conversation were obviously more difficult for Bill than others, so Tom just waited for his twin to go on.
"I woke up wearing one of those silk robes you see on TV shows," Bill continued after a moment, "and silk pyjama bottoms. It was really weird and I couldn't work out what was going on. I didn't remember the hotel room then; it was like my memory wasn't working properly."
Tom shifted in his seat and moved closer to Bill.
"He was there," Bill said, voice becoming quieter, "waiting for me to wake up. I remember him being there, but I can't remember his face; I know he was handsome, but I don't know what he looks like. How odd is that?"
Bill finally looked at him then and Tom reached out and took his twin's hand.
"He was playing with your mind," he said gently; "you can't be expected to remember things like that."
"For the longest time I didn't know what to do," Bill said, looking perplexed; "I wasn't even really afraid. I talked to him and he talked to me and it was like talking to anyone else. There was wine and food and I tried to say I didn't want any, but I ended up eating and drinking anyway. I knew he was trying to seduce me and at first I didn't really care."
Bill frowned and looked down at the floor.
"He kissed me and it was almost nice," Bill continued after a moment, "but I knew something was wrong. I tried to push him away and he wouldn't let go and then he bit me and ..." Bill's tone was agitated and scared, "and he tried to reach into my head and it felt so wrong. I tried to fight him, but he was so strong and I couldn't get away and all I could think about was getting back to you."
Tom opened his arms and Bill was wrapped around him in a second. Bill was trembling uncontrollably.
"He was angry, Tomi, so angry," Bill did not stop speaking, "because it didn't work. He threw me onto the bed and he said, 'Now we do it the hard way'. He began tearing at my clothes and I saw his fangs and I remembered the hotel and then I was so scared. I kicked at him and he called the ... the others ... they held ... me down while ... he ... he ..."
Bill was becoming hysterical and Tom pulled his twin close, stroking his hair and trying to soothe Bill's pain.
"Ssh," he said, trying to pull Bill away from the memory, "you don't have to tell me. He can't hurt you anymore, I've got you."
He felt Bill burying his face in his shoulder and he was not surprised when the tears started. All he could do was hold Bill close and let him cry. It hurt to see Bill in so much pain; to see his lively, happy twin reduced to someone so damaged and he prayed with everything he had that he could heal everything that had been done to Bill. It made him so angry that he wanted to lash out, but there was no one to lash out at and so all that was left was being Bill's rock and protector like he had always been.
Looking up, he saw him mum in the doorway and he shook his head slightly at her questioning glance. There was nothing anyone could do at the moment except be there and letting Bill deal with his emotions was his job this time.
====
"What a lovely home," Syb said as Bill lead her into the living room.
"We like it," Tom commented from where he was sitting in one of the arm chairs.
Bill smiled a little as his twin tried to lighten the atmosphere, but Syb's visits tended to be hard on Bill, so he wasn't really in the mood. He did his best to wander over to Tom's chair rather than run, and sat down on the arm as casually as he could, but, by the way Tom looped an arm around his waist, he knew he wasn't overly successful in his deception.
"Make yourselves at home," he invited as Markus walked in as well.
Sybil smiled and took up a position on the sofa and Markus sat on the other end. It felt somewhat strange to have Markus actually sit down, but then it was strange not to be sitting on a bed in this situation, so Bill did his best to ignore the disquiet the newness caused. He had never been one to like routine, but lately it comforted him and he was trying not to become dependent.
"There are many happy years here," Syb said and for a moment Bill thought the female vampire's eyes were a little vacant, "I can feel it."
"Really?" he asked, since he had learned that Syb was quite often literal and filing away the new piece of information.
"Yes," Syb said and ran her hand across the sofa arm, "it is a talent I grew into. The feelings are only ever vague, but I can find the sense of a place. This is a good place."
Bill found himself smiling a little at that; he was pleased his friend and mentor felt that way.
"So what are we going to do tonight," he balled up his courage and asked what he really wanted to know.
"This evening I thought we would just talk," Syb said and, by the sympathetic look on her face, seemed to know what he was thinking. "We haven’t really had much opportunity to do that. I think it's time I explained a few things, unless of course there is something you would like to talk about instead."
Bill shook his head; he was quite happy to let Syb do the talking for a while. They had had brief chats while he was in the hospital, but their exchanges had been mostly at a far more fundamental level than that and he was pretty sure Tom knew a lot more about Strigoi than he did at the current moment in time.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, beginning to feel a little less stressed by the whole situation.
"You," Syb replied with a smile, "or rather your current status. Up until now our discussions have been mostly general and I thought you might like to know more about day dwellers."
Bill relaxed a bit more; that didn't sound bad at all and he nodded. So far he knew some details about Strigoi and he knew that he was unusual because he could go out in the daylight, but that was about it.
"That would be good," he said and for the first time that evening, meant it.
It was then that his mother walked in with a tray of drinks. There had been the whole discussion at the door about what everyone would like and Bill had been expecting his mum to reappear at any moment.
"Thanks, Mum," he said as he was presented with a large mug of coffee.
Everyone else accepted their drinks gratefully and then his mum went to leave again.
"You can stay if you want to, Mama," he said on impulse.
Gordon was out at band practice and Bill appreciated that his mother was trying to give them some space, but there was no reason for her to leave now.
"I don't want to intrude," his mum said, obviously surprised by the invitation.
So far there had been a distinct divide between human and vampire interaction, his parents had mostly been day visitors and Syb and Markus had been evening visitors; there had only been the one crossover. It seemed a little silly to keep that up now that there was no concept of visiting hours.
"We were going to discuss Strigoi day dwellers," Syb explained in a kind tone, "you are most welcome to stay, Simone."
Bill gave his mother an encouraging smile and he could see her relax; it appeared she had been as worried as he had been as well.
"I'll just pop this back in the kitchen," his mum said as she acquiesced and then disappeared through the door.
By the time they were all ready and comfortable, Bill was halfway through his coffee and feeling quite calm. It of course helped that Tom was right there beside him; Tom's presence always made it easier to relax.
"So," Syb said once they were ready to begin, "I know you know that day dwellers are unusual, Bill, but I'm not sure you realise how unusual. The reason it would never have occurred to your kidnapper that you could be one is that at the current time there are only four others. The oldest is Uri and he lives in Moscow at the moment; he's so old no one is sure if he really is a day dweller, or he just became that way with age. From what I understand he is not fond of other Strigoi. Naomi and Daniel are the other two day dwellers that we as a race have not lost track of and Naomi lives in North America and Daniel somewhere in Asia. The last, Peter, disappeared into the Tibetan mountains two hundred years ago and has not been seen since, but the occasional report comes back that makes most of us think he is still alive."
"Four, just four?" Bill didn't quite believe it.
In his head he had pictured himself as part of a smaller subgroup of Strigoi, but something like ambidextrous people verses handed people, not one of five.
"There have been more," Syb said with a smile, "but vampires, like any other race are susceptible to wars and despots."
"So what makes a day dweller?" Tom asked, clearly very curious.
Bill was still in shock, but he murmured his agreement to the question.
"No one knows," Markus said with his usual irreverent grin, "and you should hear some of the elders go on when they debate and try and figure it out. The arguments are spectacular."
The fond smile Syb bestowed on Markus was something Bill could relate to; he often felt like that when Tom launched in with things too.
"As Markus so delicately put it," Syb said, clearly amused, "that is a question that has yet to be answered and our race had been debating the subject for a very long time. What it means in the end is that you are very special to us."
That wasn't something Bill had heard before.
"Why?" he didn't see why just being usual would make him special; in his experience being unusual tended to make people outcasts.
"Rank within Strigoi society comes with age, because with age comes power," Syb replied; "very rarely do Strigoi come into being who have innate power, although it does occasionally happen. A day dweller is the ultimate; the epitome of Strigoi power: to be able to walk in the sun without fear."
"What she's trying to say is that you are a diamond in a coal mine," Markus said with a laugh and this time Syb rolled her eyes at her bond mate.
"I seriously wonder why I put up with you sometimes," she said, but the fond smile was back.
Bill found the interplay between the two fascinating.
"Some very important people are interested in your wellbeing, Bill," Syb told him, which kind of surprised him; he had just assumed he was a blip in the Strigoi scheme of things, "and when you are ready they would very much like to meet you."
He wasn't quite sure whether to be worried about that or not. He had met a total of two Strigoi, one had hurt him, the other had helped him and it left him somewhat conflicted.
"But all I can do is walk around in daylight," he said, still not seeing what Syb was getting at, "why does that make me so special?"
"Because it means you have been a vampire for less than a month and yet you have the power of one thousands of years old," Syb said, although she seemed to understand his confusion.
Bill still didn't see why being able to take daylight made him special even if it was a trait of very old vampires, but he didn't ask again. Clearly Strigoi cared a great deal about it, so who was he to argue?
"So who are these important people?" he asked instead; he liked to know who people were even if he didn't think he'd be ready to see them for a while.
"The elders," Syb said with a smile, "which at the moment in Germany means four Strigoi. I won't bore you with names at the moment because they will mean nothing to you, but rightly or wrongly, when your attacker is caught he will automatically be tried by the highest court we have because of your status."
He wondered briefly what would have happened if he had just been an ordinary Strigoi, but then it occurred to him he would be dead in that case which meant the whole train of thought was a dead end, so he gave up. If this was the way it was he wasn't about to argue with centuries of vampire tradition. He also didn't want to dwell on any thoughts of his attacker at the moment.
"So are there a certain number of elders in a country or is it everyone over a certain age or what?" he asked, hoping that it would take his mind off of everything else.
Syb smiled and Marcus groaned.
"You had to ask that didn't you," Markus said with a shake of his head; "I had hoped to be home before dawn."
"It's complicated," Syb said, tapping Markus on the knee, "but it does have a convoluted logic."
Bill wondered if possibly he should have asked a different question.
====
Tom wandered into the kitchen behind Syb and put the empty mugs he was carrying down on the table. Markus, Bill and their mum were talking about art in the twentieth century, a subject that had absolutely nothing to do with Strigoi and which seemed to have been reached more from desperation than anything else. Syb's explanation of the structure of Strigoi society had been a little complex to say the least and Tom was sure his brain had melted at one point in the hour long talk. Syb had mentioned one elder who had been a painter just after the hour mark and Bill had jumped on the subject like a lifeline; it had been quite funny to watch.
There was now a lively discussion going on about things Tom had no interest in and so he had volunteered to make more drinks. He had been a little surprised when Syb had offered to help, but as he switched on the kettle and went to the fridge for the bottle of wine, his thoughts returned to earlier in the evening.
"It's not just the walking around in daylight is it?" he said, as a question he had held back asking in the other room jumped to mind. "With day dwellers," he added when Syb looked at him; "it can't just be that."
"It is most likely not," Syb replied with a nod, "but I did not think Bill was quite ready for that conversation yet."
Tom had to agree; overwhelming Bill was not something he wanted anyone to do at the moment.
"What else is there?" he asked; Bill might not be ready for the news, but he wanted to be.
"With age vampires gain more than the ability to venture out in daylight," Syb told him, rinsing the glasses and mugs under the tap as she spoke, "but it depends on the individual what these other powers may be. Some barely gain anything at all, others develop psychic ability or powers of the mind. Day dwellers come into being with everything that can be switched on automatically and if Bill has other abilities they will probably begin to manifest over the next few months. It is impossible to say what they might be."
"Will they be a problem?" he asked, worried that this might be more than Bill could cope with.
Syb gave him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his arm lightly in support.
"No," she replied and went back to cleaning the mugs, "he will be ready for them when they appear. We have a saying: 'With age comes the person', which basically means that the years bring us to who we are supposed to be. Bill does not need age, he just needs to adjust and then he will become whatever he is meant to be."
It all sounded a bit up in the air to Tom, but Syb had not led him wrong on anything so far. He nodded, accepting what she said and focused on pouring the wine into the now clean glasses. If Syb was right, then Bill would become the best he could be, which had to be a good thing, but the only niggling worry Tom had was Bill had a way of being spectacular without even trying. It was just how Bill was and he wondered if Strigoi society was ready for a Kaulitz.
====
Bill felt good; he was warm, he was comfortable and he was aroused. He felt safe and happy and the feelings running through him were wonderful. His sleep had been calm and undisturbed and he felt rested and waking up to this was nice. It was only as he moved slowly against the body beside him, enjoying the wonderful friction, that his mind began to clear more. He stilled suddenly as he realised where he was and what he was doing; he was horrified.
He didn't know what to do as shame washed over him; he was virtually lying on Tom and he had been rubbing against his twin. It was almost impossible to believe that he could have done something like that, and to his own brother. Feeling lower than dirt, he went to pull away, to hide his shame, but Tom's arm tightened on him. He made a distressed little sound and tried to pull away again.
"Ssh," Tom said, stroking his hair, "just relax, let it go."
The comfort that Tom's presence gave him warred with the shame and humiliation he was feeling, but eventually the call of his bond mate was too much and he had to give in.
"I didn't mean it," he said, horrified that he could be doing such a thing.
He had been degraded and humiliated by another forcing himself on him and that he could do anything remotely similar appalled him.
"It's okay," Tom told him, still petting him gently; "it's instinct," when Tom urged him to look up, he had no choice but to do so, "but, Bill, you did mean it."
He wanted to say he didn't, that he would never do something like that to Tom, but he was looking into his twin's eyes and he could see that Tom meant every word. Something was going on here; something he didn't understand and it frightened him.
"You don't have to be afraid of what you feel," Tom said, smoothing his hair and speaking very softly. "Too many things have happened to you, you don't have to worry with me; I am here, whatever you need."
Bill didn't know what Tom was trying to say; he could not let Tom sacrifice himself because he now had instincts that shouldn't be. It spurred defiance in him and he tried to move away.
"Bill," Tom held him and spoke to him and refused to let him go, "we're bonded; I'm your bond mate; this is normal. I want it too."
Those words froze him and, for just a moment, Tom's arms seemed threatening and he almost struggled. As if his twin could read his mind, Tom's grip released at exactly the right moment, before panic overtook him, and he remained where he was. There were too many thoughts flying around his head and he didn't know what to do.
"Relax," Tom said, trying to soothe him again, "everything is fine. Nothing happens unless you want it to, Billi, but you don't have to fight what you need."
"I..." he tried to find something to say, but he had no words.
He was confused, afraid and full of shame.
"I love you, Bill," Tom told him, "you are everything to me and I want to be everything to you. This is not wrong; it can never be wrong."
Bill wanted to believe that, but his thoughts were so mixed up, all he could do was hold to Tom and hope that things would start making sense again. Since he had been taken, everything had been strange and it was all too much.
"Go back to sleep," Tom urged, rubbing his back in slow circles; "everything will look better when you aren't so tired."
Fighting sleep seemed to be a far better idea if this was what he did in his dreams, but Tom's touch was soothing and it had been a very long day and evening. He hadn't moved that far from sleep as it was and, despite his misgivings, he let his eyes fall closed. Maybe Tom was right, maybe it would look different when he could think properly. Pushing the troubling thoughts away, something his logical mind whispered he was becoming far too good at, he accepted the comfort instead and let Tom's gentle fingers lull him to sleep.
End of Part 6
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