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beren_writesTitle: Out With the Old, In With the New 02/20
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Beyond Reality
There was no way Tom was leaving Bill and when it became later and what Tom suspected the hospital thought was time to head to a hotel and sleep, he was prepared for a fight. He remembered being separated from Bill when they were young and Bill had been in hospital and he had been able to do nothing about it then, but he wasn't going to let it happen again.
"Bill needs to rest," Dr Brucker said as she came in to check on them again. "Simone," Tom's mother had insisted that the doctor use her given name earlier, "I believe Mr Jost has arranged a hotel for you and your husband. I promise we will call if there are any changes."
The first thing Tom noticed was that he had not been mentioned at all in the conversation.
"What time may we come back in the morning?" his mother asked, standing up and gathering her things.
"Visiting hours start at ten," Dr Brucker replied with a smile, "but you may arrive earlier if you wish. Arrangements have been made so it won't be a problem, but I would suggest you get as much rest as possible."
Nodding, his mother prepared to leave.
"And Tom," Dr Brucker said, turning to him for the first time.
He tensed ready with his arguments.
"We can bring another bed in here if you would like, or we can just see about making you and Bill comfortable as you are," Dr Brucker told him and he was sure his mouth fell open in shock.
"You're not trying to kick me out?" he asked, very surprised by the outcome.
Dr Brucker smiled at him and shook her head.
"I think, at this point, that is quite possibly the worst thing we could try to do," Dr Brucker said, walking around the side of the bed and checking the blood bag and IV hanging next to it. "Hopefully with just you here, Bill will sleep peacefully, since we daren't give him anything to help him rest at the moment."
Tom nodded; he hoped so too. Over the hours that he had been there, he had realised that Bill was not asleep against him as he began to recognise the nuances of the tiny movements Bill made every now and then. Bill barely moved at all, but Tom was sure his twin had been awake nearly, if not all the time.
"I don't think another bed would be much use," he said as he finally processed that he was being allowed to stay, "but a couple of blankets would be good, please; Bill seems a little cold."
"I'll leave you to say goodnight then," Dr Brucker said, seemingly cheerful despite the situation, "I'm going off shift myself in a few minutes, but I'll be back bright and early in the morning."
"Good night and thank you," Tom said, and he meant it; he had come to respect Dr Brucker even after only having known her less than half a day.
"Good night," Dr Brucker replied, "and good night, Bill."
Bill, of course, didn't react, well not so anyone would notice except Tom, who felt his twin shift by the tiniest amount.
"Bill says good night," he said, since it seemed like the right thing to do. Any reaction out of Bill at the moment, no matter how small, had to be considered communication.
He watched as Dr Brucker and his mother passed pleasantries and then Dr Brucker left and his mum walked up to the side of the bed.
"I'll see you in the morning," his mother said, placing a hand on his arm. "If you need me, call, I don't care what time it is."
Tom nodded.
"Of course," he said; there was no way he would leave his mother out of this, not when it was this important, "but try and get some sleep. It's going to be an even longer day tomorrow."
His mother smiled at him for that.
"What is the world coming to when a son is giving his mother the advice?" she asked.
"A sensible one," Tom replied, trying to make light of the situation.
His mum then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll see you in the morning," she said and then looked at Bill.
It was so clear that their mum wanted to reach out and touch Bill as well, but she didn't and Tom's heart went out to her. He didn't know what he would have done if he had not been able to touch Bill for fear of frightening him.
"Good night, Bill," his mother said in a tone of voice Tom recognised from whenever one of them had been ill, "try and sleep well, Sweetheart, at least for a little while."
Bill moved a little again, which was at least something.
"He heard you, Mama," Tom said, trying to reassure his mother in any way he could.
"I know, Tomi," his mother replied and there were tears in her eyes again, "I know."
Then she turned to go, and Tom could only watch as his mother left him and Bill alone.
The blankets arrived a few minutes later in the arms of a pretty little nurse that, once upon a time, Tom would not have hesitated to flirt with. As it was, he said thank you and waited for her to leave before manoeuvring himself a little away from Bill.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said slowly and calmly and hoped Bill understood him.
His twin was looking down, staring at nothing.
"I need to take off my jeans and then unfold the blankets," he said, doing his best to see if Bill was hearing him properly.
Bill's arms flexed where they were half wrapped around him and he knew he had been understood and Bill didn't like the idea.
"I'll be as fast as I can," he promised and carefully pushed Bill further away from him as he sat away from the pillows. "You hold on to the edge of my shirt while I sort everything out."
Bill's fingers fisted into his t-shirt almost instantly and he could see them going white where Bill was holding on so hard. He took that as Bill's agreement and went to work. Getting his jeans off was not the easiest thing he had ever done, since he didn't want to move too far from Bill, but he managed it eventually. Bill was only wearing a hospital gown and was already covered in a blanket, but Tom didn't really think it was warm enough. Trying to get them both into the bed did cross his mind, but the sheets looked stiff and difficult to handle, so he discarded the idea. Taking the two new blankets, he quickly opened them out and pulled them over himself and Bill. Then he settled back against the pillows and let Bill snuggle up to his side again, moving the blankets into proper position once they were settled.
It was not the greatest way to sleep, but it was better than nothing and Tom did his best to relax, using the switch beside the bed to turn the lights even further down. He could not fall asleep himself until Bill did and so he stared at the ceiling, trying to relax and waiting for some sign from Bill that sleep would be happening at some point. In the end it was nearly an hour before he finally felt the residual tension leave Bill, and it was only then that he let his own eyes close.
====
Tom woke up to the feeling of Bill nuzzling his neck. It was a pleasant sensation, a little too pleasant as he felt his cock twitch when his body reacted in an unfortunate manner. Bill was making little purring noises and he wasn't really sure if his twin was aware of what he was doing. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten Bill in anyway, but just lying there was doing things to him that were highly inappropriate.
"Bill," he said quietly, moving very slightly, but Bill didn't seem to notice.
The nuzzling continued and he definitely felt tongue tracing little circles on his skin at one point. If Bill was dreaming, he couldn't imagine what about and if Bill was asleep he didn't want to disturb him. It was something of a quandary. He was still trying to decide what to do when Bill moved further and pressed against him completely. It was very clear, very quickly that Bill was hard and Tom had to conclude that Bill was having a very good dream. Considering what had happened to Bill, he prayed that it would stay a good dream.
He was doing his very best to think unsexy thoughts when he felt Bill's mouth open against his neck, and then, quite frankly, the world exploded. He felt the tiniest sensation of pain, like a needle prick and then fireworks went off inside his head. The inappropriate feelings went up by about a thousand percent and reality became a dim memory as every fantasy he had ever had seemed to coalesce into the most incredible sensations that took away everything else. He was completely lost and for what felt like a long time he didn't care about anything at all.
When reality did reassert itself, everything was a bit mixed up. The first thing his confused brain managed to register was a strange growling; it was strange because it seemed to resonate through the room like it was going through a sound system or something. He finally managed to make his eyes focus and found that Bill was kneeling up on the bed making the growling sound and there were two people in the room who hadn't been there before. One of them was holding a gun and it was pointed at Bill.
"Put that away, Markus," the woman of the pair said and calmly pushed the gun down; "he's only defending his bond mate."
Tom had had quite enough by that point and he even forgot that Bill might react badly.
"What the fuck is going on?" he asked very loudly and very firmly.
Bill looked round at him and he couldn't help himself; he shrank back. Bill's eyes were a deep blood red and seemed to glow from within. Almost instantly Bill seemed to completely forget about the other two people in the room and Tom's heart almost broke as his twin looked devastated. He moved straight away to correct his error and he sat up and pulled Bill to him, putting aside his own confusion to comfort Bill's distress.
Bill felt so fragile in his arms and it didn't matter what he had just seen; Bill needed him and that was all that was important.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, holding Bill gently, "I was just startled."
Bill didn't say anything, but leant against him, winding long arms around him so that they were almost fused together. Only then did he look up at the intruders and glared very hard.
"Who the hell are you?" he asked, not letting out his full anger, because he didn't want to upset Bill.
"Markus Nern, Bundespolizei," the man said, producing an ID as he put his gun away, "this is Sybil Cotteral, my partner."
"And exactly what are you doing in here waving a gun at an already traumatised person?" Tom could use words just like Bill could when he chose to and, since Bill couldn't tear the police officer off a strip, he sure as hell was going to.
"We apologise for that," Sybil said with a slight bow of her head, "Markus reacted on instinct, much as your brother did when we came in. If you would permit me, I believe I may be able to help him somewhat."
"How?" Tom asked pointedly; he was in no mood to be trusting.
Sybil walked slowly round the side of the bed.
"It would take a considerable amount of time to explain," she said politely, "and I do not believe you wish your twin to be in distress any longer than necessary. Suffice to say, he and I are alike, as are you and Markus."
As he watched, her eyes flashed and he realised he was a long way out of his depth. He had no idea what was going on.
"Please, let me be of assistance," Sybil said and calmly sat down on the side of the bed.
"Only if Bill wants you to," he decided, not really sure how to rationalise what was happening.
Sybil nodded her head and gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Bill," she said in a surprisingly gentle voice, "I know you have been through a terrible ordeal and that the only thing that seems safe and real to you at the moment is Tom. I would like to help you. I mean you no harm; please, take my hand and you will know I am telling the truth."
Tom held Bill like he was cradling a child and he felt his twin shift slightly as Sybil placed her hand on the bed between where she was sitting and Bill. At first he didn't think Bill would give a response, although he felt Bill shaking slightly and he was surprised when Bill slowly slid his hand across the bed until his fingers just touched Sybil's. For a moment the tableau held like that and then slowly Sybil reached out and took Bill's hand in hers. It took a long few minutes as they sat there in complete silence, but eventually Bill's shaking subsided.
"I need you to look at me, Bill," Sybil said eventually; "I need you to show me what happened to you."
It was difficult to watch, because Tom knew how close to the edge Bill was, he could feel it, but he loosened his hold as Bill slowly turned. Sybil was looking only at Bill and she gave him a small smile as they faced each other. Tom sat there as Sybil placed both her hands on Bill's one free one and fought down the irrational desire to make her let go.
"Show me," she said, her voice dropping so that it was low and almost hypnotic, "please."
When her eyes glowed this time, Tom had trouble not staring into them and he felt Bill go completely still in his arms. For long moments it was like everything had come to a stop, but when Bill made a small, distressed noise Tom moved to finish what was going on.
"Don't," Markus said, bringing him up short; "let Syb help him."
"She's hurting him," Tom replied, wanting to protect Bill more than anything in the world.
"Not deliberately," the other man said; "this has to be done."
When Bill gave a small cry and collapsed against him, Tom didn't care, all he knew was that Bill was unconscious in his arms.
"What did you do?" he demanded, looking desperately for signs of life in his twin.
"Put him to sleep," Sybil said and stood up. "Animals!"
Tom did not understand what she was talking about, but he was more worried about Bill. He moved carefully and placed his twin on the bed, checking that Bill really was sleeping.
"It was what we thought," he heard Sybil saying to Markus; "the filth that did this was trying to force a bond with him. The bond with his twin was too great and when it grew tired of trying, it turned him and left him in the sun to die. If he had not been extraordinary, he would be so much ash now."
"Is his mind still intact?"
When he heard this, Tom couldn't take it anymore.
"Someone tell me what the hell is going on and tell me now!" he all but yelled.
Markus did not look impressed, but Sybil did appear sympathetic.
"Your brother was taken by a Strigoi," Sybil said in a regretful tone; "a vampire," she said when he frowned.
Even after what he had seen that just didn't compute in Tom's head; he wanted to laugh and tell her she was crazy.
"Strigoi are not exactly what you would have seen on TV," Markus said when he did nothing; "some of them are even quite pleasant."
"Please forgive my imbecile of a partner," Sybil said and gave Markus a light tap on the arm; "he covers nerves with inappropriate humour."
"I am not nervous," Markus said in an irreverent tone, "I just have an overdose of adrenaline from staring down a pissed off day-dweller."
Quite frankly Tom had no idea what to do; he was more confused than he really wanted to admit. He had just seen his brother's eyes glow red and he had even caught a glimpse of fangs and to top that off he had seen a woman with similar glowing eyes who was trying to tell him vampires were real. He thought he could be forgiven for having a hard time with the whole situation.
"I think perhaps we should talk," Sybil said in a sympathetic tone as he just looked at her, "but first, let's make sure Bill is comfortable."
Tom was at a loss, but caring for Bill was one thing he could do without having all of his faculties intact and he moved Bill into a more comfortable position as Sybil picked up one of the blankets which had ended up at the foot of the bed. Tom was very glad Sybil didn't try and help him move Bill, because he wasn't sure he could have dealt with that.
"I'm sure you must have questions," Sybil said once they had Bill settled and Tom glanced between her and Markus, who had taken up a position near the door.
He had far too many question to put into words, but he didn't know where to start.
"You're telling me vampires are real?"
It sounded stupid even as he said it, but he had to begin somewhere.
"Yes," Sybil said simply while looking him straight in the eye.
"And you're a vampire?" he felt even sillier asking that, but he had little choice.
"I am," Sybil replied just as openly as the first time, "as is Bill now. We originated in Eastern Europe and our race tends to prefer the term Strigoi, but vampire is more obvious to the layman."
Tom looked at Bill and tried to get his head around the idea that his twin was no longer human. Even with what he had seen it was difficult to believe.
"So one of you kidnapped Bill and made him into a vampire?" he was more than a little confused by the whole situation.
"That was the ultimate outcome," Sybil said, her tone still kind and calm, "but it was not the original intention." Her tone changed then: "The animal that did this kidnapped Bill to be his bond mate. Such a bond would have made him immortal and turned him into little more than a slave, but he would still have been basically human. Because you and he are so close, the bond would not take and Bill was turned into a vampire so he could be disposed of easily. Bill was found tied to a poll on wasteland in full daylight; had he been a normal Strigoi, he would be dead. The sun would have killed him."
That one phrase sent Tom's thoughts in a thousand directions as his mind refused to believe that Bill might never have been returned to him.
"I felt him die," he said, as he trembled at the idea, "last night, I felt him die."
Sybil reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder as he struggled with the ideas. He didn't want to believe, but he had no choice.
"You and Bill had a remarkable connection," Sybil said, giving his shoulder a small squeeze; "very little can withstand a Strigoi bond, forced or not. That Bill resisted is as amazing as what he has become."
"What's a day-dweller?" Tom asked, as his mind returned to what Markus had said earlier.
"Exactly what you would think," Sybil told him, removing her hand again; "a Strigoi who can function during the day as well as at night. Some older Strigoi can survive in the light; I myself can take a few minutes of direct sunlight and can walk around in the daytime as long as I am in the shade, but most cannot. An unfed, young Strigoi burns in the sun and turns to ash. Bill is never going to enjoy lying on a beach soaking up the sun's rays again, but he has nothing to fear from it. He is quite remarkable."
The idea of Bill burning in the sun was too much for Tom to dwell on, so his mind flicked again and landed on what could have been an irrelevant point.
"Why did you say 'had'?" he asked as his besieged thoughts picked on that moment in time. "Why 'had a remarkable connection'?"
"Because what you had was remarkable," surprisingly it was Markus who spoke, "and what you have now is even more so."
Tom frowned; he wasn't following, although something sparked at the back of his mind.
Sybil sat down on the bed beside him.
"When you were reunited, in his need, Bill reached out to you," Sybil explained patiently; "he bonded with you in the way he could not allow his kidnapper to do with him. You accepted him and that is why you are his sole source of comfort."
The moment they had reconnected shot into Tom's head and he didn't try and deny what had happened. Now he had been told what was possible it felt all too obvious.
"But you said ..," he was confused.
"Between consenting partners a bond is a wonderful thing," Sybil said, almost seeming to read his mind. "Markus and I are bonded. If abused, a bond can be used to turn a human into an obedient slave, but when used between two people who want it, it is a joy."
"I'm sixty eight," Markus said from his position next to the door.
Tom had to go over that in his head again before he realised what Markus had said.
"You look about thirty," he said, since stating the obvious was about all his brain seemed to be able to do now.
"Well I always had a baby face," Markus replied with a smile, "I bonded with Sybil when I was thirty five. There is a program that runs across Europe which matches up human and Strigoi partners for work in law enforcement. I was lucky enough to have Sybil pick me and after working together as normal partners for five years, we bonded."
"It took a while for him to grow on me," Sybil said with a fond smile. "We handle cases that involve Strigoi and humans, which are rare enough to mean that we are not always required. This is our first case in two years and we were called in as soon as Bill's symptoms were flagged in the system."
"What do you do when you're not working?" Tom asked, since he had given up trying to make his shocked brain behave and work logically.
"Anything we want to," Markus replied with a smile.
It seemed to be a funny way to go about life, but Tom wasn't about to make anything of it, after all he played guitar for a living.
"And what happens now?" he asked, finally making himself believe that this was happening, but not knowing what it all meant for him and Bill.
"This is a Strigoi crime," Sybil told him, "and the culprit will be found and brought to justice by Strigoi, but the human police forces are already involved so Markus and I will act as liaisons. You and Bill need to simply concentrate on Bill's recovery; we will keep your involvement in the investigation to a minimum. I can help Bill's mind recover from the damage done by the attempted forced bonding and if you and he are willing, I would be honoured to act as Bill's mentor for all things Strigoi."
"You'll have to ask him that," Tom said quietly, as he did his best to assimilate all the information he was being given.
It seemed so crazy, but he knew it was true and it was taking a long time to sink in.
"Of course," Sybil replied with a smile. "In case you were wondering, I am eight hundred and fifty three."
Tom just blinked at that; he really couldn't imagine anyone being that old.
"So what made you choose law enforcement?" he asked, since the question popped into his head and he didn't think he could deal with any other revelations for a few minutes.
"My previous bond mate, Ilana, was killed by a human vampire hunter," Sybil said and Tom saw a flash of pain in her eyes, "and for very many years I kept to myself with very few friends in either human or Strigoi circles. Then I heard about the new age of Strigoi/human relations dawning and it intrigued me enough to draw me in. I think possibly I wanted to debunk the stupidity of my fellows, but then I met a young man who caught my attention enough to make me actually join. He can be insufferable, but Markus restored my faith in the world."
There wasn't a lot Tom could think to say about that; he had not expected a condensed life history and it kind of amazed him that this virtual stranger was being so open.
"Will Bill get better?" it was the only question that his brain seemed to have left to come up with.
"He is strong," Sybil said, reaching out and taking his hand, "I felt it in his thoughts. His mind is confused from the influence of the forced bond, but I can help remove that. It will take time, but he should start reacting more normally once the world makes sense to him again. The rest will be up to him and you."
It was a big responsibility, but then Tom had always been responsible for Bill and he had no intention of stopping now just because it was more difficult.
"Please can you tell me more about Strigoi," he finally decided to ask; "if I'm going to help Bill I need to know what to expect."
For nearly two hours Sybil spoke while Markus maintained his post by the door and added anecdotes or little pieces of information as well. By the time Sybil stood up and wandered over to her bond mate, Tom's head was spinning with information.
"He has to know the full truth," Sybil said to Markus and Tom didn't know what was going on; "I think it would be better if you explained. I will look after Bill."
Tom really didn't like being the subject of a conversation and not being involved in it, especially when he didn't understand what it was about. As Markus stood up, away from where the man was leaning on the wall, Tom found that he was worried.
"Let's go for a little walk," Markus invited, which was a bad start.
"I'm not leaving Bill," Tom said very firmly.
"I forced his mind into a peaceful sleep," Sybil said, walking back towards the bed; "he will not wake for at least another hour. I swear to you I will watch him as you would and if he begins to wake before you return I will summon you back."
"No way," he replied; nothing was going to make him leave the room.
"Tom," Markus said and for a change there was no humour in the man's eyes, "there are some things you need to know and they may make you angry. Being angry near Bill will not be good for him in his delicate state; he will sense it with you so close. We will be gone no longer than fifteen minutes, I promise."
Tom wanted to protest, but they had pulled the Bill card and he was torn. He could never hurt Bill, especially now, and this was clearly important.
"He will come to no harm," Sybil said, sitting down and stroking Bill's hair lightly, "on that you have my word of honour."
Even though he had been sitting there with visitors for two hours, Tom hadn't bothered to pull on his jeans and he couldn't be bothered with the voluminous material then either, so he stood up and grabbed the hospital dressing gown that had been hung on the back of the door.
"If this isn't important I will make sure neither of you ever see Bill again," he said very firmly and he meant every word.
"Tom," Sybil said from where she was sitting next to Bill, "we would never ask you to leave Bill if it was not of the utmost importance."
Tom was still not happy, but he did walk through the door when Markus opened it.
"There's an examination room where we can talk," Markus said as he closed the door to Bill's room, "not too far away, but far enough not to be a problem. Believe me, I remember what it was like; you won't want to leave Bill's side for days even if he were to suddenly return to normal overnight."
Tom didn't reply, because most of what he was thinking was not polite and he all but stomped into the room Markus indicated.
"Okay," he said the moment the door was closed, "what is so important that I have to leave my twin alone?"
Markus gave him a long steady look, but he refused to feel sorry for being so pissed off.
"When we came in Bill was feeding from you," Markus finally said something, "and you were reacting in a perfectly normal manner."
Tom frowned, he had managed to put his unfortunate reaction to Bill's nuzzling and then biting out of his mind. Syb had explained about feeding, how it could be platonic or sexual, but always pleasurable and he had hoped no one would mention his reaction. Bill obviously hadn't been in control to make it feel like that and since Syb had also explained that Bill would only feed from him whenever possible, he had assumed that that would change.
"Once Bill has the hang of feeding, that shouldn't be a problem," he said, very uncomfortable with the subject.
Markus shook his head and Tom frowned.
"It's always going to be the same way," Markus told him without beating around the bush; "you're Bill's bond mate; the connection is always sexual."
That didn't make any sense at all; Bill was his brother, the whole sexual thing had to be a mistake.
"He's my twin," Tom pointed out, not liking what Markus was insinuating.
He was not having sexual thoughts about Bill; that would just be wrong.
"He's your bond mate," Markus said and did not seem to be reacting the way Tom expected. "Bond mates are everything to each other; it's just the way it is. Neither of you will be able to stop the sexual reactions you have with each other. It will be as natural as being brothers is."
For a split second Tom considered hitting Markus squarely on the nose, but what he couldn't fight was the memory of his reaction to Bill. When Bill had bitten him, it had felt so right and the shame and guilt that brought with it made him sit down.
"It can't be true," he said, trying to rationalise the ideas going through his head; "that would be incest."
"Not exactly," Markus said and he looked up at the other man.
"How 'not exactly'?" Tom asked, feeling angry and wanting to lash out.
"Bill is more than your brother now; he's not human any more," Markus told him; "normal rules don't apply. Could you possibly love anyone more than you love him?"
Tom wanted to object, he wanted to scream and shout about how dare Markus suggest any of these things, but his heart knew the truth and his mind knew that his body would betray him with his heart in a moment.
"No," he said quietly and it was the truth; no one had ever meant more to him than Bill.
"Vampire instincts don't always work along the same lines as human ones," Markus said, far less blatant now; "they cross boundaries because the rules aren't the same. Bill is still your twin, but at the same time his vampire nature doesn't see it that way, which makes him far more as well."
For a few moments Tom just sat there and stared at the floor as his brain tried to rationalise this one more piece of information that seemed so ridiculous. It was almost too much.
"I can't be that to him," he said, standing up as his brain refused to behave and throw away all the memories of what it had felt like to be bitten by Bill; "not now. He won't want that, not when he's awake; he was raped for God's sake, over and over again; he's probably never going to want sex again, ever. If he thinks I want that, it will scare the hell out of him and I have to be there for him, not make him afraid."
He went to walk past Markus; this conversation was irrelevant; he just had to control himself and be there to support Bill, but Markus caught his arm.
"It doesn't work like that," Markus said simply. "Neither of you may want to act on what you feel for some time, but it won't go away."
"So what," Tom snapped back, "am I supposed to walk back in there and just tell Bill that I want to fuck him, because that will go down so well."
Markus did not release his arm even when he tried to pull away.
"Calm down," Markus said in an even tone. "I don't suggest you tell Bill anything until he becomes aware that something is happening between you. You can't avoid this for long, but you can ease him into it and then you can take it at his pace. Just because the feelings are there, you don't have to act on them, but you do have to acknowledge them. Lying to yourselves or each other about this will not work."
Tom pulled away one more time and this time Markus let him go and he headed back to Bill's room. He needed time to think and he was confused, but he made sure he was as calm as he could be before he walked back into the other room.
End of Part 2
On to Next Part
Author: Beren
Fandom: Tokio Hotel RPS
Pairing(s): Bill/Tom, Bill/OMC (reported, non-con)
Rating: NC17/18
Warnings: rape (non-graphic), twincest, vampires
Summary: There are things that many people do not see and are never supposed to see, but when one of these takes Bill from his hotel room, by force, everything changes for him and Tom.
Links:
Prologue | Ch 01 | Ch 02 | Ch 03 | Ch 04
| Ch 05 | Ch 06 | Ch 07 | Ch 08 | Ch 09
| Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14
| Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20
Full Chapter Listing (with chapter descriptions)
Beyond Reality
There was no way Tom was leaving Bill and when it became later and what Tom suspected the hospital thought was time to head to a hotel and sleep, he was prepared for a fight. He remembered being separated from Bill when they were young and Bill had been in hospital and he had been able to do nothing about it then, but he wasn't going to let it happen again.
"Bill needs to rest," Dr Brucker said as she came in to check on them again. "Simone," Tom's mother had insisted that the doctor use her given name earlier, "I believe Mr Jost has arranged a hotel for you and your husband. I promise we will call if there are any changes."
The first thing Tom noticed was that he had not been mentioned at all in the conversation.
"What time may we come back in the morning?" his mother asked, standing up and gathering her things.
"Visiting hours start at ten," Dr Brucker replied with a smile, "but you may arrive earlier if you wish. Arrangements have been made so it won't be a problem, but I would suggest you get as much rest as possible."
Nodding, his mother prepared to leave.
"And Tom," Dr Brucker said, turning to him for the first time.
He tensed ready with his arguments.
"We can bring another bed in here if you would like, or we can just see about making you and Bill comfortable as you are," Dr Brucker told him and he was sure his mouth fell open in shock.
"You're not trying to kick me out?" he asked, very surprised by the outcome.
Dr Brucker smiled at him and shook her head.
"I think, at this point, that is quite possibly the worst thing we could try to do," Dr Brucker said, walking around the side of the bed and checking the blood bag and IV hanging next to it. "Hopefully with just you here, Bill will sleep peacefully, since we daren't give him anything to help him rest at the moment."
Tom nodded; he hoped so too. Over the hours that he had been there, he had realised that Bill was not asleep against him as he began to recognise the nuances of the tiny movements Bill made every now and then. Bill barely moved at all, but Tom was sure his twin had been awake nearly, if not all the time.
"I don't think another bed would be much use," he said as he finally processed that he was being allowed to stay, "but a couple of blankets would be good, please; Bill seems a little cold."
"I'll leave you to say goodnight then," Dr Brucker said, seemingly cheerful despite the situation, "I'm going off shift myself in a few minutes, but I'll be back bright and early in the morning."
"Good night and thank you," Tom said, and he meant it; he had come to respect Dr Brucker even after only having known her less than half a day.
"Good night," Dr Brucker replied, "and good night, Bill."
Bill, of course, didn't react, well not so anyone would notice except Tom, who felt his twin shift by the tiniest amount.
"Bill says good night," he said, since it seemed like the right thing to do. Any reaction out of Bill at the moment, no matter how small, had to be considered communication.
He watched as Dr Brucker and his mother passed pleasantries and then Dr Brucker left and his mum walked up to the side of the bed.
"I'll see you in the morning," his mother said, placing a hand on his arm. "If you need me, call, I don't care what time it is."
Tom nodded.
"Of course," he said; there was no way he would leave his mother out of this, not when it was this important, "but try and get some sleep. It's going to be an even longer day tomorrow."
His mother smiled at him for that.
"What is the world coming to when a son is giving his mother the advice?" she asked.
"A sensible one," Tom replied, trying to make light of the situation.
His mum then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll see you in the morning," she said and then looked at Bill.
It was so clear that their mum wanted to reach out and touch Bill as well, but she didn't and Tom's heart went out to her. He didn't know what he would have done if he had not been able to touch Bill for fear of frightening him.
"Good night, Bill," his mother said in a tone of voice Tom recognised from whenever one of them had been ill, "try and sleep well, Sweetheart, at least for a little while."
Bill moved a little again, which was at least something.
"He heard you, Mama," Tom said, trying to reassure his mother in any way he could.
"I know, Tomi," his mother replied and there were tears in her eyes again, "I know."
Then she turned to go, and Tom could only watch as his mother left him and Bill alone.
The blankets arrived a few minutes later in the arms of a pretty little nurse that, once upon a time, Tom would not have hesitated to flirt with. As it was, he said thank you and waited for her to leave before manoeuvring himself a little away from Bill.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said slowly and calmly and hoped Bill understood him.
His twin was looking down, staring at nothing.
"I need to take off my jeans and then unfold the blankets," he said, doing his best to see if Bill was hearing him properly.
Bill's arms flexed where they were half wrapped around him and he knew he had been understood and Bill didn't like the idea.
"I'll be as fast as I can," he promised and carefully pushed Bill further away from him as he sat away from the pillows. "You hold on to the edge of my shirt while I sort everything out."
Bill's fingers fisted into his t-shirt almost instantly and he could see them going white where Bill was holding on so hard. He took that as Bill's agreement and went to work. Getting his jeans off was not the easiest thing he had ever done, since he didn't want to move too far from Bill, but he managed it eventually. Bill was only wearing a hospital gown and was already covered in a blanket, but Tom didn't really think it was warm enough. Trying to get them both into the bed did cross his mind, but the sheets looked stiff and difficult to handle, so he discarded the idea. Taking the two new blankets, he quickly opened them out and pulled them over himself and Bill. Then he settled back against the pillows and let Bill snuggle up to his side again, moving the blankets into proper position once they were settled.
It was not the greatest way to sleep, but it was better than nothing and Tom did his best to relax, using the switch beside the bed to turn the lights even further down. He could not fall asleep himself until Bill did and so he stared at the ceiling, trying to relax and waiting for some sign from Bill that sleep would be happening at some point. In the end it was nearly an hour before he finally felt the residual tension leave Bill, and it was only then that he let his own eyes close.
====
Tom woke up to the feeling of Bill nuzzling his neck. It was a pleasant sensation, a little too pleasant as he felt his cock twitch when his body reacted in an unfortunate manner. Bill was making little purring noises and he wasn't really sure if his twin was aware of what he was doing. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten Bill in anyway, but just lying there was doing things to him that were highly inappropriate.
"Bill," he said quietly, moving very slightly, but Bill didn't seem to notice.
The nuzzling continued and he definitely felt tongue tracing little circles on his skin at one point. If Bill was dreaming, he couldn't imagine what about and if Bill was asleep he didn't want to disturb him. It was something of a quandary. He was still trying to decide what to do when Bill moved further and pressed against him completely. It was very clear, very quickly that Bill was hard and Tom had to conclude that Bill was having a very good dream. Considering what had happened to Bill, he prayed that it would stay a good dream.
He was doing his very best to think unsexy thoughts when he felt Bill's mouth open against his neck, and then, quite frankly, the world exploded. He felt the tiniest sensation of pain, like a needle prick and then fireworks went off inside his head. The inappropriate feelings went up by about a thousand percent and reality became a dim memory as every fantasy he had ever had seemed to coalesce into the most incredible sensations that took away everything else. He was completely lost and for what felt like a long time he didn't care about anything at all.
When reality did reassert itself, everything was a bit mixed up. The first thing his confused brain managed to register was a strange growling; it was strange because it seemed to resonate through the room like it was going through a sound system or something. He finally managed to make his eyes focus and found that Bill was kneeling up on the bed making the growling sound and there were two people in the room who hadn't been there before. One of them was holding a gun and it was pointed at Bill.
"Put that away, Markus," the woman of the pair said and calmly pushed the gun down; "he's only defending his bond mate."
Tom had had quite enough by that point and he even forgot that Bill might react badly.
"What the fuck is going on?" he asked very loudly and very firmly.
Bill looked round at him and he couldn't help himself; he shrank back. Bill's eyes were a deep blood red and seemed to glow from within. Almost instantly Bill seemed to completely forget about the other two people in the room and Tom's heart almost broke as his twin looked devastated. He moved straight away to correct his error and he sat up and pulled Bill to him, putting aside his own confusion to comfort Bill's distress.
Bill felt so fragile in his arms and it didn't matter what he had just seen; Bill needed him and that was all that was important.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, holding Bill gently, "I was just startled."
Bill didn't say anything, but leant against him, winding long arms around him so that they were almost fused together. Only then did he look up at the intruders and glared very hard.
"Who the hell are you?" he asked, not letting out his full anger, because he didn't want to upset Bill.
"Markus Nern, Bundespolizei," the man said, producing an ID as he put his gun away, "this is Sybil Cotteral, my partner."
"And exactly what are you doing in here waving a gun at an already traumatised person?" Tom could use words just like Bill could when he chose to and, since Bill couldn't tear the police officer off a strip, he sure as hell was going to.
"We apologise for that," Sybil said with a slight bow of her head, "Markus reacted on instinct, much as your brother did when we came in. If you would permit me, I believe I may be able to help him somewhat."
"How?" Tom asked pointedly; he was in no mood to be trusting.
Sybil walked slowly round the side of the bed.
"It would take a considerable amount of time to explain," she said politely, "and I do not believe you wish your twin to be in distress any longer than necessary. Suffice to say, he and I are alike, as are you and Markus."
As he watched, her eyes flashed and he realised he was a long way out of his depth. He had no idea what was going on.
"Please, let me be of assistance," Sybil said and calmly sat down on the side of the bed.
"Only if Bill wants you to," he decided, not really sure how to rationalise what was happening.
Sybil nodded her head and gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Bill," she said in a surprisingly gentle voice, "I know you have been through a terrible ordeal and that the only thing that seems safe and real to you at the moment is Tom. I would like to help you. I mean you no harm; please, take my hand and you will know I am telling the truth."
Tom held Bill like he was cradling a child and he felt his twin shift slightly as Sybil placed her hand on the bed between where she was sitting and Bill. At first he didn't think Bill would give a response, although he felt Bill shaking slightly and he was surprised when Bill slowly slid his hand across the bed until his fingers just touched Sybil's. For a moment the tableau held like that and then slowly Sybil reached out and took Bill's hand in hers. It took a long few minutes as they sat there in complete silence, but eventually Bill's shaking subsided.
"I need you to look at me, Bill," Sybil said eventually; "I need you to show me what happened to you."
It was difficult to watch, because Tom knew how close to the edge Bill was, he could feel it, but he loosened his hold as Bill slowly turned. Sybil was looking only at Bill and she gave him a small smile as they faced each other. Tom sat there as Sybil placed both her hands on Bill's one free one and fought down the irrational desire to make her let go.
"Show me," she said, her voice dropping so that it was low and almost hypnotic, "please."
When her eyes glowed this time, Tom had trouble not staring into them and he felt Bill go completely still in his arms. For long moments it was like everything had come to a stop, but when Bill made a small, distressed noise Tom moved to finish what was going on.
"Don't," Markus said, bringing him up short; "let Syb help him."
"She's hurting him," Tom replied, wanting to protect Bill more than anything in the world.
"Not deliberately," the other man said; "this has to be done."
When Bill gave a small cry and collapsed against him, Tom didn't care, all he knew was that Bill was unconscious in his arms.
"What did you do?" he demanded, looking desperately for signs of life in his twin.
"Put him to sleep," Sybil said and stood up. "Animals!"
Tom did not understand what she was talking about, but he was more worried about Bill. He moved carefully and placed his twin on the bed, checking that Bill really was sleeping.
"It was what we thought," he heard Sybil saying to Markus; "the filth that did this was trying to force a bond with him. The bond with his twin was too great and when it grew tired of trying, it turned him and left him in the sun to die. If he had not been extraordinary, he would be so much ash now."
"Is his mind still intact?"
When he heard this, Tom couldn't take it anymore.
"Someone tell me what the hell is going on and tell me now!" he all but yelled.
Markus did not look impressed, but Sybil did appear sympathetic.
"Your brother was taken by a Strigoi," Sybil said in a regretful tone; "a vampire," she said when he frowned.
Even after what he had seen that just didn't compute in Tom's head; he wanted to laugh and tell her she was crazy.
"Strigoi are not exactly what you would have seen on TV," Markus said when he did nothing; "some of them are even quite pleasant."
"Please forgive my imbecile of a partner," Sybil said and gave Markus a light tap on the arm; "he covers nerves with inappropriate humour."
"I am not nervous," Markus said in an irreverent tone, "I just have an overdose of adrenaline from staring down a pissed off day-dweller."
Quite frankly Tom had no idea what to do; he was more confused than he really wanted to admit. He had just seen his brother's eyes glow red and he had even caught a glimpse of fangs and to top that off he had seen a woman with similar glowing eyes who was trying to tell him vampires were real. He thought he could be forgiven for having a hard time with the whole situation.
"I think perhaps we should talk," Sybil said in a sympathetic tone as he just looked at her, "but first, let's make sure Bill is comfortable."
Tom was at a loss, but caring for Bill was one thing he could do without having all of his faculties intact and he moved Bill into a more comfortable position as Sybil picked up one of the blankets which had ended up at the foot of the bed. Tom was very glad Sybil didn't try and help him move Bill, because he wasn't sure he could have dealt with that.
"I'm sure you must have questions," Sybil said once they had Bill settled and Tom glanced between her and Markus, who had taken up a position near the door.
He had far too many question to put into words, but he didn't know where to start.
"You're telling me vampires are real?"
It sounded stupid even as he said it, but he had to begin somewhere.
"Yes," Sybil said simply while looking him straight in the eye.
"And you're a vampire?" he felt even sillier asking that, but he had little choice.
"I am," Sybil replied just as openly as the first time, "as is Bill now. We originated in Eastern Europe and our race tends to prefer the term Strigoi, but vampire is more obvious to the layman."
Tom looked at Bill and tried to get his head around the idea that his twin was no longer human. Even with what he had seen it was difficult to believe.
"So one of you kidnapped Bill and made him into a vampire?" he was more than a little confused by the whole situation.
"That was the ultimate outcome," Sybil said, her tone still kind and calm, "but it was not the original intention." Her tone changed then: "The animal that did this kidnapped Bill to be his bond mate. Such a bond would have made him immortal and turned him into little more than a slave, but he would still have been basically human. Because you and he are so close, the bond would not take and Bill was turned into a vampire so he could be disposed of easily. Bill was found tied to a poll on wasteland in full daylight; had he been a normal Strigoi, he would be dead. The sun would have killed him."
That one phrase sent Tom's thoughts in a thousand directions as his mind refused to believe that Bill might never have been returned to him.
"I felt him die," he said, as he trembled at the idea, "last night, I felt him die."
Sybil reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder as he struggled with the ideas. He didn't want to believe, but he had no choice.
"You and Bill had a remarkable connection," Sybil said, giving his shoulder a small squeeze; "very little can withstand a Strigoi bond, forced or not. That Bill resisted is as amazing as what he has become."
"What's a day-dweller?" Tom asked, as his mind returned to what Markus had said earlier.
"Exactly what you would think," Sybil told him, removing her hand again; "a Strigoi who can function during the day as well as at night. Some older Strigoi can survive in the light; I myself can take a few minutes of direct sunlight and can walk around in the daytime as long as I am in the shade, but most cannot. An unfed, young Strigoi burns in the sun and turns to ash. Bill is never going to enjoy lying on a beach soaking up the sun's rays again, but he has nothing to fear from it. He is quite remarkable."
The idea of Bill burning in the sun was too much for Tom to dwell on, so his mind flicked again and landed on what could have been an irrelevant point.
"Why did you say 'had'?" he asked as his besieged thoughts picked on that moment in time. "Why 'had a remarkable connection'?"
"Because what you had was remarkable," surprisingly it was Markus who spoke, "and what you have now is even more so."
Tom frowned; he wasn't following, although something sparked at the back of his mind.
Sybil sat down on the bed beside him.
"When you were reunited, in his need, Bill reached out to you," Sybil explained patiently; "he bonded with you in the way he could not allow his kidnapper to do with him. You accepted him and that is why you are his sole source of comfort."
The moment they had reconnected shot into Tom's head and he didn't try and deny what had happened. Now he had been told what was possible it felt all too obvious.
"But you said ..," he was confused.
"Between consenting partners a bond is a wonderful thing," Sybil said, almost seeming to read his mind. "Markus and I are bonded. If abused, a bond can be used to turn a human into an obedient slave, but when used between two people who want it, it is a joy."
"I'm sixty eight," Markus said from his position next to the door.
Tom had to go over that in his head again before he realised what Markus had said.
"You look about thirty," he said, since stating the obvious was about all his brain seemed to be able to do now.
"Well I always had a baby face," Markus replied with a smile, "I bonded with Sybil when I was thirty five. There is a program that runs across Europe which matches up human and Strigoi partners for work in law enforcement. I was lucky enough to have Sybil pick me and after working together as normal partners for five years, we bonded."
"It took a while for him to grow on me," Sybil said with a fond smile. "We handle cases that involve Strigoi and humans, which are rare enough to mean that we are not always required. This is our first case in two years and we were called in as soon as Bill's symptoms were flagged in the system."
"What do you do when you're not working?" Tom asked, since he had given up trying to make his shocked brain behave and work logically.
"Anything we want to," Markus replied with a smile.
It seemed to be a funny way to go about life, but Tom wasn't about to make anything of it, after all he played guitar for a living.
"And what happens now?" he asked, finally making himself believe that this was happening, but not knowing what it all meant for him and Bill.
"This is a Strigoi crime," Sybil told him, "and the culprit will be found and brought to justice by Strigoi, but the human police forces are already involved so Markus and I will act as liaisons. You and Bill need to simply concentrate on Bill's recovery; we will keep your involvement in the investigation to a minimum. I can help Bill's mind recover from the damage done by the attempted forced bonding and if you and he are willing, I would be honoured to act as Bill's mentor for all things Strigoi."
"You'll have to ask him that," Tom said quietly, as he did his best to assimilate all the information he was being given.
It seemed so crazy, but he knew it was true and it was taking a long time to sink in.
"Of course," Sybil replied with a smile. "In case you were wondering, I am eight hundred and fifty three."
Tom just blinked at that; he really couldn't imagine anyone being that old.
"So what made you choose law enforcement?" he asked, since the question popped into his head and he didn't think he could deal with any other revelations for a few minutes.
"My previous bond mate, Ilana, was killed by a human vampire hunter," Sybil said and Tom saw a flash of pain in her eyes, "and for very many years I kept to myself with very few friends in either human or Strigoi circles. Then I heard about the new age of Strigoi/human relations dawning and it intrigued me enough to draw me in. I think possibly I wanted to debunk the stupidity of my fellows, but then I met a young man who caught my attention enough to make me actually join. He can be insufferable, but Markus restored my faith in the world."
There wasn't a lot Tom could think to say about that; he had not expected a condensed life history and it kind of amazed him that this virtual stranger was being so open.
"Will Bill get better?" it was the only question that his brain seemed to have left to come up with.
"He is strong," Sybil said, reaching out and taking his hand, "I felt it in his thoughts. His mind is confused from the influence of the forced bond, but I can help remove that. It will take time, but he should start reacting more normally once the world makes sense to him again. The rest will be up to him and you."
It was a big responsibility, but then Tom had always been responsible for Bill and he had no intention of stopping now just because it was more difficult.
"Please can you tell me more about Strigoi," he finally decided to ask; "if I'm going to help Bill I need to know what to expect."
For nearly two hours Sybil spoke while Markus maintained his post by the door and added anecdotes or little pieces of information as well. By the time Sybil stood up and wandered over to her bond mate, Tom's head was spinning with information.
"He has to know the full truth," Sybil said to Markus and Tom didn't know what was going on; "I think it would be better if you explained. I will look after Bill."
Tom really didn't like being the subject of a conversation and not being involved in it, especially when he didn't understand what it was about. As Markus stood up, away from where the man was leaning on the wall, Tom found that he was worried.
"Let's go for a little walk," Markus invited, which was a bad start.
"I'm not leaving Bill," Tom said very firmly.
"I forced his mind into a peaceful sleep," Sybil said, walking back towards the bed; "he will not wake for at least another hour. I swear to you I will watch him as you would and if he begins to wake before you return I will summon you back."
"No way," he replied; nothing was going to make him leave the room.
"Tom," Markus said and for a change there was no humour in the man's eyes, "there are some things you need to know and they may make you angry. Being angry near Bill will not be good for him in his delicate state; he will sense it with you so close. We will be gone no longer than fifteen minutes, I promise."
Tom wanted to protest, but they had pulled the Bill card and he was torn. He could never hurt Bill, especially now, and this was clearly important.
"He will come to no harm," Sybil said, sitting down and stroking Bill's hair lightly, "on that you have my word of honour."
Even though he had been sitting there with visitors for two hours, Tom hadn't bothered to pull on his jeans and he couldn't be bothered with the voluminous material then either, so he stood up and grabbed the hospital dressing gown that had been hung on the back of the door.
"If this isn't important I will make sure neither of you ever see Bill again," he said very firmly and he meant every word.
"Tom," Sybil said from where she was sitting next to Bill, "we would never ask you to leave Bill if it was not of the utmost importance."
Tom was still not happy, but he did walk through the door when Markus opened it.
"There's an examination room where we can talk," Markus said as he closed the door to Bill's room, "not too far away, but far enough not to be a problem. Believe me, I remember what it was like; you won't want to leave Bill's side for days even if he were to suddenly return to normal overnight."
Tom didn't reply, because most of what he was thinking was not polite and he all but stomped into the room Markus indicated.
"Okay," he said the moment the door was closed, "what is so important that I have to leave my twin alone?"
Markus gave him a long steady look, but he refused to feel sorry for being so pissed off.
"When we came in Bill was feeding from you," Markus finally said something, "and you were reacting in a perfectly normal manner."
Tom frowned, he had managed to put his unfortunate reaction to Bill's nuzzling and then biting out of his mind. Syb had explained about feeding, how it could be platonic or sexual, but always pleasurable and he had hoped no one would mention his reaction. Bill obviously hadn't been in control to make it feel like that and since Syb had also explained that Bill would only feed from him whenever possible, he had assumed that that would change.
"Once Bill has the hang of feeding, that shouldn't be a problem," he said, very uncomfortable with the subject.
Markus shook his head and Tom frowned.
"It's always going to be the same way," Markus told him without beating around the bush; "you're Bill's bond mate; the connection is always sexual."
That didn't make any sense at all; Bill was his brother, the whole sexual thing had to be a mistake.
"He's my twin," Tom pointed out, not liking what Markus was insinuating.
He was not having sexual thoughts about Bill; that would just be wrong.
"He's your bond mate," Markus said and did not seem to be reacting the way Tom expected. "Bond mates are everything to each other; it's just the way it is. Neither of you will be able to stop the sexual reactions you have with each other. It will be as natural as being brothers is."
For a split second Tom considered hitting Markus squarely on the nose, but what he couldn't fight was the memory of his reaction to Bill. When Bill had bitten him, it had felt so right and the shame and guilt that brought with it made him sit down.
"It can't be true," he said, trying to rationalise the ideas going through his head; "that would be incest."
"Not exactly," Markus said and he looked up at the other man.
"How 'not exactly'?" Tom asked, feeling angry and wanting to lash out.
"Bill is more than your brother now; he's not human any more," Markus told him; "normal rules don't apply. Could you possibly love anyone more than you love him?"
Tom wanted to object, he wanted to scream and shout about how dare Markus suggest any of these things, but his heart knew the truth and his mind knew that his body would betray him with his heart in a moment.
"No," he said quietly and it was the truth; no one had ever meant more to him than Bill.
"Vampire instincts don't always work along the same lines as human ones," Markus said, far less blatant now; "they cross boundaries because the rules aren't the same. Bill is still your twin, but at the same time his vampire nature doesn't see it that way, which makes him far more as well."
For a few moments Tom just sat there and stared at the floor as his brain tried to rationalise this one more piece of information that seemed so ridiculous. It was almost too much.
"I can't be that to him," he said, standing up as his brain refused to behave and throw away all the memories of what it had felt like to be bitten by Bill; "not now. He won't want that, not when he's awake; he was raped for God's sake, over and over again; he's probably never going to want sex again, ever. If he thinks I want that, it will scare the hell out of him and I have to be there for him, not make him afraid."
He went to walk past Markus; this conversation was irrelevant; he just had to control himself and be there to support Bill, but Markus caught his arm.
"It doesn't work like that," Markus said simply. "Neither of you may want to act on what you feel for some time, but it won't go away."
"So what," Tom snapped back, "am I supposed to walk back in there and just tell Bill that I want to fuck him, because that will go down so well."
Markus did not release his arm even when he tried to pull away.
"Calm down," Markus said in an even tone. "I don't suggest you tell Bill anything until he becomes aware that something is happening between you. You can't avoid this for long, but you can ease him into it and then you can take it at his pace. Just because the feelings are there, you don't have to act on them, but you do have to acknowledge them. Lying to yourselves or each other about this will not work."
Tom pulled away one more time and this time Markus let him go and he headed back to Bill's room. He needed time to think and he was confused, but he made sure he was as calm as he could be before he walked back into the other room.
End of Part 2
On to Next Part
